Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label comedy. Show all posts

7 Simple Rules for Your Sexiest Sunday


Lazy Sundays are probably the best time of the week. Everyone across Facebook and Twitter is talking about their lazy Sundays (especially after all that Halloween partying). Sometimes we take time off to enjoy Sundays. When we do, we enjoy sexy activities to pamper ourselves. Because feeling sexy is just as important being sexy. Our Erica Grigg reports on the things that make her feel sexiest.

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As the Chief Lust Officer, I have big shoes to fill. Friends, family and readers ask, "What should I do to feel sexier?". What it comes down to: how do I feel better to have better sex? Alright, I'll share some of my simple, slightly silly secrets to feeling sexy.

#1 A long bath

I'm daydreaming of this right now. Soaking; the longer the better. The more bubbles the better. Get extra soapy, extra relaxed. And open a bottle of bubbly to top it off! It doesn't need to be expensive. Just taking this time is what it takes to feel sexier. Of course, this requires you to feel you deserve all this self love and attention. Why? You deserve it! Man or woman, bubble baths are not gendered.

Although I admit it's been a long one since I've drawn a bath, it's just one of the most relaxing activities. Speaking of which, I'm going to schedule a bath. Because scheduling sex is just as important as scheduling time for your self.

#2 A mud mask

There's no other choice but to laugh. You look crazy. You likely are some weird color. But putting a masque on your skin is an excellent way to exfoliate. Have you looked at how radiant your skin is after cleansing? Yes.

Though I wouldn't recommend doing this more than 2 times weekly. It'll dry out your skin. Especially in Chicago with winter coming, you want to apply moisturizer after.

#3 Laugh

OK, I just helped that one I think. Or at least I left you wondering, "Why the hell did you include a guy smoking a cigarette in a mud mask?!" Yes according to University of Maryland, laughing makes you feel great. Why? According to the Discovery Network, "There is a stress-induced chemical in the body called cortisol, which contributes to problems like heart disease, hypertension and obesity. When we laugh, we set off a chain reaction that reduces cortisol levels."

#3 Work out

It might've been 4 days or 4 weeks. Maybe even 4 months. Just because you aren't the habit of working out doesn't mean you can't run and jump outside. After hours of working on our rumps during the week, we can start thinking sitting is normal. And healthy. It's not!

Get off your ass. Run, jump and play! Alternatively, go to the adult center for running and jumping - the gym. The gym is the ideal place to get your stress out from a long week. Don't hesitate. Do it! You might be out of shape. You might feel silly. That's OK. You're beautiful. You're competent. And no one at the gym really cares about how you look.

Once you've completed your (small, medium, large) workout -- don't forget to stretch. Have you ever had the cramps of the world the day after visiting the gym? No. It's bad.

#4 Stretch

Next to going to the gym, stretching is awesome to stay limber. No time to visit the gym? Stretch. Touch your toes. There are even stretches before or after sex.

#5 Get naked in front of a mirror. Don't wince

This might be surprising, but your body is likely completely normal. You might be like me--a little pudgy by traditional standards. Maybe you're tall. Or short. Stocky or fit. Either way, getting comfortable in your own skin works wonders for your overall sexiness.

#6 Watch feminist porn (or just visit Lady Cheeky)

There are plenty of reasons to watch porn. We even have recommendations for feminist porn! We'll have more on 'traditional' versus 'feminist' porn. There are several differences. The most striking of which is feminist porn includes far more women producers and directors. From what I've seen, there's a lot more queer porn from the feminist perspective. Overall, for me, feminist porn is awesome and erotic.

#7 Feel like a master

I'm not actually talking about being a submissive here, surprising enough. Although, if that's your thing, we do have several recommendations for being a great submissive. When was the last time you feel like you did something really well? Do you remember that feeling of conquering the world? You could do anything. You were Queen Kong (or King Kong). No one could touch you. Go back there. That is (for me at least) a great source of sexiness.

This is post by Erica Grigg, our Founder and Chief Lust Officer. She's a writer, marketer, social entrepreneur and sex geek. She wants to end boring sex. If you don't see Erica riding around downtown, Chicago in her beach cruiser or at a diner with her adoring husband, you see her chatting up the tech community about the importance of sex and love in marriage. Follow Erica on Twitter @ericagrigg or subscribe via FacebookGoogle+ and LinkedIn.

Want to connect about business partnership with a woman-run business that cares? E-mail me directly at erica@getlusty.com.
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My Favorite Things: Sex Slang for Giggles

Need to add some more slang words to you sex vocabulary? Forget the dictionary! Nadine Thornhill from Adorkable Undies is here with a post on some of her favorite sexy slang terms for our nether regions.

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Tonight I’m facilitating a session on sex positivity for some new volunteers at work. My favorite part of the lesson involves an activity called “penis vulva arm."  The group must come up with as many euphemisms/slang terms for each body part. It’s no holds-barred. Participants are encouraged to throw out any word no matter how cheesy, inappropriate or potentially offensive it might be.

We write all the words on large sheets of paper. Invariably, there are dozens of words for both penis and vulva, while the record for “arm” stands at four. The purpose of the exercise is to illustrate how many words we’ve created to describe the sexual parts of our bodies and how, to some extent, the breadth of language exists as a way to avoid speaking about sex directly.

While I agree that speaking in anatomically correct terms without blushing furiously is a good thing, I must confess that I do have fun with less formal sex-talk in certain contexts. Here, for your consideration, are some of my favorite sexy slang terms:

Vulva: Cunt. The Lion.

Clitoris: Clit

Vagina: Vag. Inside me/her.

Penis: Cock

Testicles: Balls. (I’m trying to break my habit of saying “balls!” to express disappointment, as I like balls/testicles quite a bit. “pants!” is the my new “balls!”)

Scrotum: Ball sack

Breasts: Boobs (in casual conversation). Tits (in sexy situations)

Butt: Ass. Booty.

Semen: Jizz

Vaginal lubrication: Va-Jizz

Penetrative Sex: Fuck(ing)

Spanking: Ass slap

Fellatio: Going down. Sucking cock.

Cunnilingus: Use/using your mouth (The term “eating out” just doesn’t make sense to me.)

Anal Sex: Ass fuck(ing)

Masturbation: Wanking. Taking Care Of Business.

When it comes to sex words, do you have some preferred slang terms or do you like to straight up tell it like it is? Comments are open so don’t be shy. Speak up!

This was originally posted at Adorkable Undies, Nadine Thornhill's lovely blog.

Nadine is a sexual health educator, playwright, poet, burlesque performer, partner and parent living in Ottawa, Ontario. The plays and poetry she creates tend toward subjects such as clitorises, vibrators and non-monogamy. She enjoys candy, fashion and dreck television. She does not care for pants.

Find her on Twitter @NadineThornhill. She also blogs on Adorkable Undies. Find her on Facebook and Pinterest.
You have read this article anatomy / comedy / for couples / for men / for women / foreplay / funny / Nadine / penis / vagina with the title comedy. You can bookmark this page URL https://jadejurgensen.blogspot.com/2012/09/my-favorite-things-sex-slang-for-giggles.html. Thanks!
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