5 Things NOT to Do Mid-Blowjob: Part 1

Men and women love head. We love to receive and hopefully, we love to give as well. Camille Crimson has given us lots of useful blowjob tips, and we've also asked men 6 ways not to ask for head. But we haven't had a male's perspective yet! How about for those giving head Thank goodness Brendan White is aboard the GetLusty for Couples team! He has cleverly written on 5 things you should never do during a blowjob. Part two is coming soon.

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Any men out there hate blowjobs? I challenge any of you readers to find a guy that is opposed to receiving oral sex. Go ahead, I'll wait. Yeah, none of you left your chair. And where there is a demand, a supply always follows.  So it's not too shocking that magazines and the internet are saturated with blowjob advice. Originally, I was going to write about killer blowjob strategies and techniques because I've run into fantastic tips and techniques. However, it seemed for every legitimate piece of advice was a polar opposite; its inverse, its yang. (Good advice) -1.  

I'm of course talking about the absurd, the scary, the painful, the inconvenient and the silly blowjob technique. The theoretical technique that sounds exotic or sexy or creative or fresh but probably should never shake hands with reality. I'll be your blowjob captain today, steering you away from the rough seas of questionable oral sex acts and through the process of elimination, help you hone in on that "killer blowjob."

#1 Say, "no" to choking on frozen grapes

Frozen grapes. Again, not something I've ever experienced. While it might not necessarily feel bad having a contrast of temperature on your penis while receiving oral sex, I have to imagine that this particular technique would make things more difficult for the person giving the blowjob. The logistics of fondling a penis with your mouth does not get easier with half a dozen frozen fruit orbs thrown in the mix. Try and picture that - not very flattering.  Any pleasure gained with this technique may be cancelled out by the increased difficulty of the blow job. Plus, would there be the temptation to chow down? It sounds dangerous.

#2 Pop Rocks. Scary!

I've heard this faux technique so many times that I can comfortably call it a "classic" faux technique. The idea is that the popping sensation pop rocks produce when in contact with your saliva will feel awesome on your penis. I argue common sense says otherwise. They are crystallized sugar, which is hard and has edges! You may be scoffing to yourself right now. "Oh Brendan, but they're so small, and they pop! That sounds exciting, stop complaining. You'll love it!" No! The penis is extremely sensitive, especially the head.  Rubbing it against small hard and potentially sharp popping things is not A-Okay in my book.

#3 Pepper under the nose? No!

I am of course talking about the pepper under the nose. No. No. Do not ever think it's ok to surprise your partner with a face full of pepper when he is having an orgasm. I've heard whispers that sneezing while having an orgasm feels good, and while I cannot speak from personal experience, I know what it feels like to sneeze while urinating. If that is in any way comparable to a mid-ejaculation sneeze, I'm not interested. Plus there are important things on the face that should remain perpetually pepper free, like the eyes. Interestingly enough, there have been cases of association between sneezing and sexual stimulation. Still, pepper under the nose gets a double veto. 

#4 Sweet'N Low semen?

Using synthetic sugar if you don't like the taste of semen: I would actually recommend not swallowing if you don't like the taste, or communicating your concern to your partner.   Pouring a packet of Sweet'N Low in your mouth while giving a blow job does not sound enjoyable.

If the person you are kindly providing a blowjob to is not considerate enough to work with your preferences then they are unworthy of your affection! A diet low on red meat, asparagus, garlic, and high on fruits, water, sugar improves the taste of semen.

#5 Fork on the balls

Wanted by no person ever. Well, that's not true, but if you suspect your partner might enjoy this, I recommend getting verbal confirmation first.

Surprising him with a sharp metal object applied to the genitals might have the opposite effect of what you're going for. 

This article is by Business Outreach intern and occasional writer, Brendan White. Brendan is a Boston University graduate with a passion for all things historical and also all things sex. A recent Boston transplant to Chicago, Brendan has a musical mind and at one point toured the country. When he's not thinking about conquering feudal Japan, chances are he's playing loud rock n' roll in some laboratory with other like-minded individuals. When he's not thinking about GetLusty for Couples, he's spending time with his exceptionally lovely girlfriend.

What to get in touch with him?  E-mail Brendan at brendan@getlusty.com.  

You have read this article better sex / blowjob / brendan white / for women / foreplay / funny with the title funny. You can bookmark this page URL https://jadejurgensen.blogspot.com/2012/12/5-things-not-to-do-mid-blowjob-part-1.html. Thanks!

5 Things NOT To Do Mid-Blowjob: Part 2

Maybe it's because it's Dick & Dildo December, but we're thinking about blowjobs a lot lately. Sometimes those who bestow the gift of the blowjob get the idea that trying new blowjob techniques will be a fabulous idea! That we don't necessarily need to even chat with our partners. I'll just pull out this crazy, fun, new idea that Cosmo gave me. He'll love it! Then, you go home and try it and surprise. It may be hilarious, but it doesn't really provide much pleasure to either of you. Therefore, in Part 2 of our series (check out part 1 here) on things not to do during a blowjob, our Brendan White returns with more of what not to do.

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Did you think the bad blow job inquisitor was finished with merely 5 mediocre blow job maneuvers?  Please. I'm back with part II of bad blow job techniques! Curious about part I? Check them out: bad blowjob techniques.

I want to dispel some so-called blowjob techniques I ran into in magazines and online. Right off the bat I want to eliminate: hot sauce, sandpaper on the balls, scrotal acupuncture. I haven't personally experienced all of these, so if you have personal experience with any of these techniques and beg to differ, let me know in the comments section! Onward! 5 more blowjob techniques to avoid at all costs (or to at the very least talk with your partner about beforehand)!

#1 Spraying me with ice water?! No, please!

Spraying your partner with a bottle of ice water may cool down some hot foreplay. And weird him out. At the very least ladies, please talk with your partners before you try this. 

#2 Surprise anal action

While a blow job may feel incredible accompanied with massaging the prostate, this is not a move you bust out willy-nilly. This is one of those things you should talk about first with your blow job recipient. There are people out there that look at the anus as a one-way street. Fingers are not welcome there. A little communication goes a long way.  

#3 Nutella

Dip his dick in Nutella? Really? This isn't to stay that Nutella is not absolutely deliciously goodness. Everyone calm down and get back in your seats!

However, Nutella is also thick and pasty. Dry mouth, anyone? It'd be the equivalent of a peanut butter blowjob! A more viscous chocolate syrup is less dangerous and can achieve the same  effect. I am extremely curious about if anyone has used that hardening chocolate syrup sexually. Report back to me!

#4 Talking weirdly dirty

While I think talking dirty can be extremely sexy, it is a slippery slope. Too often, people take their dirty talk queues from porn, which we all know is not like our real life sex. Porn often times is meant to be over the top and absurd, so saying something like, "I'm going to lay siege to your penis with my mouth pussy!" to your significant other may just confuse and upset them. Talking dirty is hot when it sounds genuine. Another thing to consider: it doesn't always have to be filthy to be dirty. Soon, GetLusty for Couples will have multiple ways to talk dirty. For now, talk about talking dirty before sex. See what they'd like to hear and what you'd like to say.

#5 Combining them all!?

Most of this list is based on inference, not experience. I would love it for someone to do some gonzo journalism. Get your guy ready, then run to the kitchen. Grab the nutella, pepper, grapes from the freezer, fork, cold water and pop rocks (maybe for ease you could assemble this motley list into a specially allocated "blow job drawer"), and go to town!  I advice just giving the blowjob in the kitchen to save you a few trips. You may want one of these while you're causing sexual PTSD.

Talk about it!

But hey, who am I to judge. Human beings have demonstrated that they can sexualize virtually anything. That being said, I cannot stress how important it is to talk to your partner.

It may not feel very elegant or sexy to explicitly discuss what you want to do or want to receive but it's much better than being unpleasantly surprised in the middle of a hot and heavy moment. Consent is sexy. There should be no surprise sexual acts. If you're uncertain, talk about it.

This article is by GetLusty writer, Brendan White. Brendan is a Boston University graduate with a passion for all things historical and also all things sex. A recent Boston transplant to Chicago, Brendan has a musical mind and at one point toured the country. When he's not thinking about conquering feudal Japan chances are he's playing loud rock n' roll in some laboratory with other like-minded individuals. When he's not thinking about GetLusty he's spending time with his exceptionally lovely girlfriend.

What to get in touch with him?  E-mail Brendan at brendan@getlusty.com.  

You have read this article better sex / blowjob / brendan white / Communication / for couples / for men / for women / foreplay / funny / funny sex / intimacy / penis with the title funny. You can bookmark this page URL https://jadejurgensen.blogspot.com/2012/12/5-things-not-to-do-mid-blowjob-part-2.html. Thanks!

Traveling with Sex Toys this Holiday Season?

Have you ever traveled with your sex toys and carried them aboard an airplane? With tightened airport security, more and more people are getting pulled out of line and searched. But should this restrict your vacation of sexual adventures? Eric Amaranth, sex coach extraordinaire, believes in adding novelty in your bedroom or hotel room. Eric is here with a humorous tale about his travel misadventures with his sex toys!

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My girlfriend and I went to a wedding this past weekend and decided to bring four of our favorite sex toys with us. Two were vibrators shaped innocuously, one was a dildo with an obvious phallic shape, and the fourth was a glass design that defies brief description. Which is why it’s pictured at right. Read on for the humor and adventure.

We left from Newark International Airport, then made our way through security manned and womaned, as always, by the intrepid TSA officers. All the toys were packed in my luggage. The officer at the viewing screen stopped the line and brought other officers over to get their opinions. I watched with a straight face while my girlfriend giggled quietly after having made it through their scrutiny. Suddenly the principle viewing agent said words to the effect of, “I don’t believe this. Bag check!”

I smiled inside, but kept a disinterested look on my face. They asked me whose bag it was and I raised my hand. They first ran the diagnostic wipes over the handles and inside surfaces, then fed them into a machine. Nothing went off. Next step was the visual exam.

The male officer rifled through my clothes. The toys were at the bottom of the suitcase. He stopped and stared for half a second, then put my things back on top and gestured with his thumb that I could be on my way. My girlfriend was laughing harder by the time I joined her, but quietly. Oh yes, the officer had gloves on throughout the check.

The second run-in was in the return at a southern city’s small airport. Once again, I took the toys in my bag. Said bag went through the x-ray machine and again, the line was stopped. A middle aged woman with vintage spectacles peered at the screen for much a few seconds, I’d estimate four. She didn’t call for viewing assistance, but did request a bag check and said out loud to the officer snapping on nitrile gloves, “It looks like an art piece!”

My girlfriend had once again already made it through and I looked over at her with her hand on her mouth covering up the giggles. The TSA guy ID’ed me as the owner of the bag and did the wipe down, as before, then asked me where the object was that they were concerned about.

I figured it was the glass toy, because the other three would not lend themselves to an art piece characterization. The phallus… the most obvious attention-grabber, never entered the discussion. The agent brought out the figure as seen above, reached over for a collection pan that you’d put jewelry and loose change in, then walked off with my art piece. They asked me what it was. I said art piece, which is technically true.

I heard my girlfriend choking back her guffaws. She’d lost it. I kept my poker face on and waited. They brought it back after a minute, I took it, and they said I was free to travel. Put it back in, got my things, put my belt and shoes back on, and joined my girlfriend.

She laughed about that for the next three minutes. I smiled big and wondered why they were afraid of my toy and realized the spiral going up the “shaft” may have looked like a wire. Anyway, the moral of the story is to keep a straight face, know you have a right to your hot sex toys in your bag, and enjoy the trip because many people’s best sex is on vacations due to the privacy and change of scenery.

Cross posted with permission from Eric Amaranth's blog here.

Eric Amaranth is a sex life coach, working in NYC and globally via video conference, who specializes in women’s and men’s sexuality, basic to advanced sex skills, and high-end sex education. Individuals and couples are guided toward the relationship, intimacy, and sexual enjoyment goals they desire most.

Amaranth believes that for the majority of people, appreciation of ourselves and our romantic partners is one of the best sustainable resources we have to continuously renew attraction, maintain respect, and stay in love with our partners. This bedrock of deep appreciation is founded and reinforced by the combination of loving relationship skills with breathtaking sexual skills. Follow him on Twitter @Eric_Amaranth.

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5 Ways to Have a More Seductive Thanksgiving

It seems that most people don't think Thanksgiving can be sexy. In fact, it could be considered the most unsexy holiday possible. We don't buy it! This isn't just a day for grandparents and cousins, it's a day spent with your sexy partner. GetLusty's Matt Stickles gives five ways to make your day of giving thanks a sexy one.

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#1 Cuddle when you have the chance

Be sure to cuddle up with one another. Thanksgiving can be quite a hectic time, especially if your hosting. You and your partner can only benefit from a little bit of cuddling in the morning and at night. Nothing helps you forget the stresses of cooking and family drama like holding your partner in your arms when you get a break. If you decide you want to make moves past cuddling, go for it!

#2 Fun under the table

Just because you're married or have been together for a while doesn't mean you can't play. In fact, quite the opposite. Playing footsie under the table is a great way to remind your partner that you are still thinking about them. You still find them just as appetizing as the the delicious food on top of the table! If you are sitting next to your partner, then a discretely wander your hand over to their lap--it can be pretty seductive!

#3 Play in the kitchen 

If your hosting, cooking can be a major hassle. Even though putting together a great meal for a lot of people is a major stress, you and your partner can make it fun by fooling around in the kitchen! Drip some cranberry sauce on his or her neck, put a drop of whip cream on their chest, then help them with the clean-up by licking it off. If your kitchen is separate from the festivities, and you two are all alone for a moment, have yourselves a quick make-out session. There's nothing much sexier than sneaking around with inappropriate behavior.

#4 Massages

You just ate your own weight in turkey, mashed potatoes, and stuffing. The both of you just want to lay on the couch and veg out, neither of you feeling very sexy. However, a little massage is a great way to make each other feel better and maybe even get in the mood. A full body massage might be out of the question, due to that food-baby sitting in your belly. But you can still rub their feet, shoulders, scalp, hands, and arms. As long your partner is not resting on their stomach, mini massage feel amazing and are welcomed touches (do ask first, though).

#5 A Thanksgiving quickie

If you're hosting Thanksgiving dinner this year, then you have all kinds of options for some sexy fun. At some point during the festivities, sneak off with your partner to the bedroom for a quicky. Too much for you? How about a quick blow job in the bathroom? You don't even have to go as far as those things. Find a place with a locked door, throw a hand down his pants, or up her skirt, and just give a taste of what's waiting for them.

Our newest writer is a history, sex and love... lover, Matt Stickles.

Matt is a recent grad from the University of Kansas with Bachelor's degrees in History and Anthropology. Matt currently lives just outside of Chicago. When Matt is not writing and reading articles on GetLusty for Couples, you can catch him getting drinks with friends, reading science fiction, watching the Jayhawks dominate college basketball, or hanging out with Hannah, his Bernese Mountain dog. Have questions, comments or concerns? E-mail him at matt@getlusty.com.

You have read this article fun / funny / funny sex / holiday / kissing / love / marriage / sexy with the title funny. You can bookmark this page URL https://jadejurgensen.blogspot.com/2012/11/5-ways-to-have-more-seductive.html. Thanks!

The 3 Most Awkward Snuggie Sex Positions

We've had a delay on our daily dose of sex positions, so to bounce back we're here with Snuggie sex. Yes, you heard right. Sex with Snuggies on.

You know? Those cuddly, soft and fuzzy bath-robe-type lounge wear? On the search for the finest sex positions, we found these. And we thought you should know. GetLusty's staff writer Milan Weasley is here to talk about sex positions.

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Whilst browsing sex positions, I came across Snuggie Sutra. The tongue-in-cheek quality of these descriptions are only matched by the hilarious figures. After reading a few, snickers are inevitable. But I wanted to take the challenge of adding my own spin onto some of these positions.

The Gobble Gobble

Tis' the holiday season. Thanksgiving is coming in just under 2 weeks. This holiday is all about sharing what you have and giving to others. After clearing off the dinner table, why not give to each other?

To add another layer of weirdness: gobble like your life depended on it. Between your moans and sighs of ecstasy, throw in a few deep and throaty gobbles.

As if this isn't good enough, throw a snuggie in the mix. It's even warmer and snnuglier. Oh, my! Though the awkward factor on this position is low, we're glad it is. Focus on the cunnilingus--or blowjob--here, folks!


The Banana Split

I have one word for this position: bananas. 

This position would take quite a bit of flexibility. But it looks pretty interesting. Take advantage of your kitchen, especially if you live in a smaller apartment. There's always interesting places to have sex.

To amp up the awkward: bring props. Nothing better than adding a cherry on top. Or a nice shower of roasted peanuts. Bonus points if you can distract your partner long enough to stick them into crevices.

On a side note: even more bonus points for doing the splits during sex. If you do, watch out. You'll likely need some help to get out of this position.

The Night In

Don't ya just love multitasking? You can have an orgasm while you finish up the last few chapters of The Hunger Games or maybe a book appropriate for adults, like the complete collection of English poet, painter and visionary William Blake. How far can you get before throwing down your book?

If it wasn't already odd enough: try reading out loud. Much like Hysterical Literature, after a while it gets pretty hard to hold your moans in. Make it a game. Read the most outlandish quotes you can find. First to laugh loses. And "losing means certain death. May the odds be ever in your favor."

Snuggie sex may be almost impossible to have without laughing. But it can be done. What's love without laughter anyway? And if you can't hold back the giggles, add some of my silly hints to make it that much goofier. Have you tried Snuggie sex? Would you try it now? Share with us below!

Milan Weasley is one of our first lesbian writers. (Ah! Dykes and dildos!) She spends her days procrastinating grad school and her nights procrastinating everything else. She enjoys writing, gogo dancing, sewing, pole dancing, and defending the Oxford comma. Get in touch with her at milan@getlusty.com.

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10 Craziest American Sex Laws

America is a strange and fantastic place. We are afforded some of the greatest luxuries the world has to offer, and supposedly are allowed to say and do anything we want. Actually, no.

When it comes to sex laws, we are not anywhere close to the land of the free. In fact, The United States has more laws governing sex acts than all of Europe combined. Luckily, GetLusty's Andrew Ewald is here to demystify and tell you about the wacky things that you might not want to tell the police about.

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#1 Only Missionary
Place: Washington, D.C.

Who would've thought that having more than 'vanilla' sex would be considered illegal? In Washington, D.C., the only acceptable sexual position is the missionary position. No, I guess we should consider here for a moment. Does this law apply to politicians? Because they fuck people in the ass all the time.

#2 No rodeo sex
Place: Massachusetts

If you're a little kinky and want to get fresh at a rodeo in MA, we recommend against it. In Massachusetts rodeos, it's illegal to have sex with a rodeo clown in the presence of horses. It's not talking about bestiality (which is very uncool because it involves un-consensual sex so we're very against it), rather just having sex in front of the animals. Is this law meant to protect the clowns or the horses?

#4 Excessive police niceness about car sex
Place: Coeur D'Alene, Idaho

We never thought we'd add police niceness to the list but here it goes. In Coeur D'Alene, Idaho, it's safe to make love while in a parked car.  Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. If an officer is suspicious, he must drive up from behind, honk three times, and wait two minutes before getting out to investigate. With regard to most of the other laws that either make no sense or are offensive, this one is crazy because of it's sensibility and politeness.

#3 No habitual kissing with mustaches
Place: Indiana

Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans. So seriously, where di this law come from, anyway? Does Indiana have an out-of-control mustache problem? Some sort of kissing phobia? Do they film a lot of porn there? How do you qualify and register as a habitual kisser of humans? Are there mustache check points at random intersections?

#5 No tollbooth sex
Place: Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

It is illegal to have sex with a truck driver in a tollbooth. Don't laugh. Truck driver tollbooth sex (TDTS) causes massive traffic back-ups and costs the freight industry millions of dollars in lost revenue each year. Unless the TDTS problem is addressed head-on, we stand to lose a great deal more than just shipping revenue. This legislation aims to correct this deplorable threat to our economy.

#6 No wedding hunting
Place: Oblong, Illinois

It is punishable by law to have sex while hunting or fishing on your wedding day. I feel like the primary reason this activity is only illegal because of its difficulty level. Just imagine the skill required to handle two different types of tackle, several guns and a wedding dress! Very few people are such talented outdoorsmen and lovers.

#7 No corsets
Place: Merryville, Montana

Wearing a corset is illegal because, in the law's own words, "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the red-blooded American male."

It must be noted that in Norfolk, Virginia there is law in place enforcing the use of corsets for which there was even a civil-service job, reserved for men only, called a "corset inspector". The Merryville law seems like a step in a more progressive direction even though it seems aimed at protecting men's rights.

#8 No gun play during orgasms
Place: Connersville, Wisconsin

It is against the law for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm. This is the sort of law that gives people ideas. Not everyone thinks about bringing a gun into bed and firing off a few victory rounds. But when you put it on paper like that, Connersville, it sounds pretty exciting.

#9 No oral sex
Place: Missouri

Missouri is supposed to be, "The welfare of the people shall be the supreme law". At least according to its state motto. Not so much says GetLusty. It is illegal to engage in oral sex in Missouri. Why? We're not sure as oral sex is one of our favorite ways to start of sex. But don't get caught doing this 'indecent' act otherwise you could be at risk of persecution.

#10 No dick costumes
Place: Nevada

It is illegal for any member of the legislature to conduct official business wearing a penis costume while the legislature is in session. We cannot have the general public thinking that politicians are giant, walking erections. That would give people the wrong idea about government.

Andrew Ewald is a GetLusty writer who spends most of his time reading, writing, cooking, and watching RuPaul's Drag Race with his girlfriend.

He graduated from Western Michigan University with a Bachelor's in in English. He might act like a square, but nothing is taboo with this character. Connect with him! E-mail him at andrew@getlusty.com.

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28 Surprising Benefits of Being a Loving Couple

Do you realize how wonderful it is to have a loving spouse? Being in an amazing sexual relationship is beautiful and can be very beneficial for your overall health and even finances. Even when things get difficult, being close to someone is one of the best things life has to offer. Of course we get bored and forget how lucky we are to be close to someone. That's OK! At GetLusty, we've put together a list of just some of the benefits of being part of an awesome couple.

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#1 Waking up next to each other. Loneliness might be the most despairing aspect of being single. Opening your eyes after a long nights sleep and seeing the beautiful face of the one you love is a wonderful thing.

#2 Always having someone to see a movie with. Not to say that convenience is a benefit, but if you've found the right one, then you have a best friend who is there to share all your cinematic adventures with.

#3 Seeing the smile on your partners face when you bring them breakfast in bed. From childhood we humans have this obsessive urge to please the ones we love. We behaved this way with our parents, aunts, and grandparents. Now that we're all grown up, we want to carry this convention forward with our relationships. It gives us a sense of accomplishment, and reminds us of how loved we are.

#4 Loving the sound of your partner's annoying laugh. Being ridiculously and insanely smitten with someone is one the most exciting occurrences one will ever experience. To be so infatuated that every little annoying habit becomes a spine-tingling, hair-raising event.

#5 Being able to test your robot dance out on a captive audience. Many of us have a hard time being ourselves out in public. Some of us even dread the idea of co-worker or family member seeing how we act at home, when we're all alone. When you have that special someone in your life, you have a person who loves every silly, bizarre thing you do, and you'll love performing for them.

#6 Having someone to hold onto while you watch "The Exorcist" for the fourth time. It's not just a benefit for the ladies. No matter what your man tells you, he gets scared too, and having someone there provides a huge sense of safety. Having someone who makes you feel safe carries over to larger issues in life - not just spooky movies.

#7 Taking showers together. With your partner there for every aspect of your life, those once ordinary day-to-day tasks suddenly become potential erotic adventures.

#8 Attending your favorite sporting event together. Many singles stubbornly think that sporting events are just for the guys, but a victory make-out session is much more exciting than a few high-fives with your pals. Another benefit is the amount of adrenalin that's built up during a game. Adrenalin always makes for great sex after the match.

#9 Knowing that you have someone to depend on. Your partner is more than just bed mate, they're your companion - someone to experience this life with. Life gets hard, and complicated, and can even seem unbearable at times. The great thing about a couple is, when you fall, there is always someone there to pick you up.

#10 Feeding each other chocolate covered strawberries. Everyone loves being pampered. Whether it's sharing fruit, or a massage. You'll always have someone there to spoil you.

#11 No more depressing masturbation! We know, there will always be masturbation, no matter how often you and your partner have sex. After discovering that intense connection we call love with someone, the sexual experience ascends to something greater than just satisfying that itch in your pants.

#12 Taking vacations together. The majority of us are not loners. Deep down in our core, we crave friendship and community. When it comes to traveling, most of us are intimidated by the thought of going at it alone, so having that loved one next to you seems to arouse the explorer in us.

#13 Perpetual encouragement. Even the best of us lose a little self-esteem from time to time. It's an amazing thing to always have someone there to help rebuild your fortitude.

#14 All-night Netflix marathons. One of the most adventurous things we did in our childhood was staying up all night with our best friends, watching movies and playing games. After we all grew up, that didn't seem to happen anymore. Your friends have lives of their own now and don't seem too excited about having a slumber party with you. Well, that's what your partner is for. He or she is your new best friend, and they'll always be there to help you build that fort in the living room.

#15 Your ass will always look great in that outfit. As we've noted before, confidence is a huge issue with us humans. We are constantly worried about how others see us, and we're even a little superficial at times. Your girlfriend or boyfriend always wants to be the hottest person you know, and you always will be, because you really are the hottest person in the world to them. 

#16 The glorious majesty of oral sex. Sure, you can get a blowjob during a one-night stand, but will it be the greatest blowjob you ever receive? Probably not. Having that one person, night after night, day after day, to explore and experiment with - that's how you master the art of oral sex. Cunnilingus takes some practice, and is a different experience with every woman. Nobody knows how to blow their woman's mind on the first try. It takes time. A couple has the benefit of discovering that perfect orgasm.

#17 Relaxing in the tub together. Everyone loves a bubble bath! Having someone's slippery, naked body rubbing against yours turns that tranquil time in the tub into a romantic, and erotic engagement.



#18 Holding hands (duh!). Intimacy is incredibly fulfilling, whether it's spooning in bed, or just walking down the street, hand-in-hand. Maybe we get it from childhood, the safety and comfort of having someone hold your hand while crossing the street or wandering through a busy public space. What ever the reason, we all love doing it. 

#19 Having a road-trip partner. Before you found the love of your life, you had to ask around to find a friend who would take a trip with you. Sometimes that can be hard. Sometimes nobody wants to be stuck in a car with you for several hours at a time. A couple never has this issue. You're already spending every day together, so it might as well be spent in a car. There's not much better than exploring the open road with someone who laughs at all your bad jokes. 

#20 Having someone to split a Twix with. We're not saying you should be in a relationship just so you don't waste food, but the sharing aspect is very important. You're sharing food, experiences, thoughts - everything you love, everything you hate. You can think of it as "becoming one" with each other, or you could also see it as one person becoming twice as awesome. 

#21 Experimental cooking. Single folks usually fall into their own routine, and they stick with it until someone comes along and introduces them to something new. For the stereotypical male, it's pizza, hot wings, and anything that's easy to cook. When you find yourself in a couple, you discover this urge to try new things. You've merged your lifestyle with someone else's, and that tends to shake things up a bit. You'll both want to find ways to change those old habits of yours.

#22 Getting texts during your work day that make you feel better. You're not alone in this world. The crappy day at work doesn't have to seed into your mind when you have someone on your team, routing for you. He or she isn't just the person you hook up with at home every night, they're personal pep rally. By the end of  your shift, if won't matter how much your boss yelled at you - not when you know you're in love, and are loved in return.

#23 Having someone who makes sure you don't get too drunk. Sometimes your judgement can waver a bit, and you might need a little assistance. It's nice to have someone looking out for you - someone you will thanking in the morning.

#24 Having someone who will listen to you complain about your parents. After a while you'll notice that some of your friends don't make the best listeners, and your siblings can be a little critical, especially if you're the younger one. A couple always has someone to hear their problems, without judgement.

#25 Negotiating foot massages and back rubs. Single people need to pay people for this kind of thing. Other than the financial benefit, it can be really fun bartering for things with loving displays of affection.

#26 Realizing that even when you fight, you still love each other. You'll notice that singles don't fight. They can always just walk away from an argument, but not couples. They love and care for one another. The argument is important.

#27  Getting to experiment with pubic hair lengths. OK, this sounds a little weird, and maybe even a little gross, but think about it. There are places on your body you would never allow a lover to explore. Be in a couple for a certain amount of time and see how absurdly comfortable you become around your partner. You'll start peeing in front of each other, picking your nose in front of them, and yes, playing with their pubic hair.

#28 Knowing how lucky you are. This might not sound like an extremely important benefit right away, but try to remember the last time you felt this way. Happy couples are so damn happy because of little things like this. You'll see them around sometimes, walking tall, a modest smile on their face.

Jason Estrada is currently working on his master's for creative writing, in the hopes of becoming a very rich screenwriter some day. His other interests include photography, cinematography, and video editing. His favorite book is The Great Gatsby. Favorite movie is either The Crow or When Harry Met Sally - can't decide. And his all time favorite show is Doctor Who.

When he's not enjoying any of those things, you can find him at home, drinking and smoking way too much while listening to VNV Nation. You can email him at jason@getlusty.com, or try his Facebook page.

You have read this article dates / dating / for couples / fun / funny / love / marriage / November / relationships / romance / romantic gestures / stronger relationship with the title funny. You can bookmark this page URL https://jadejurgensen.blogspot.com/2012/11/28-surprising-benefits-of-being-loving.html. Thanks!

My Favorite Things: Sex Slang for Giggles

Need to add some more slang words to you sex vocabulary? Forget the dictionary! Nadine Thornhill from Adorkable Undies is here with a post on some of her favorite sexy slang terms for our nether regions.

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Tonight I’m facilitating a session on sex positivity for some new volunteers at work. My favorite part of the lesson involves an activity called “penis vulva arm."  The group must come up with as many euphemisms/slang terms for each body part. It’s no holds-barred. Participants are encouraged to throw out any word no matter how cheesy, inappropriate or potentially offensive it might be.

We write all the words on large sheets of paper. Invariably, there are dozens of words for both penis and vulva, while the record for “arm” stands at four. The purpose of the exercise is to illustrate how many words we’ve created to describe the sexual parts of our bodies and how, to some extent, the breadth of language exists as a way to avoid speaking about sex directly.

While I agree that speaking in anatomically correct terms without blushing furiously is a good thing, I must confess that I do have fun with less formal sex-talk in certain contexts. Here, for your consideration, are some of my favorite sexy slang terms:

Vulva: Cunt. The Lion.

Clitoris: Clit

Vagina: Vag. Inside me/her.

Penis: Cock

Testicles: Balls. (I’m trying to break my habit of saying “balls!” to express disappointment, as I like balls/testicles quite a bit. “pants!” is the my new “balls!”)

Scrotum: Ball sack

Breasts: Boobs (in casual conversation). Tits (in sexy situations)

Butt: Ass. Booty.

Semen: Jizz

Vaginal lubrication: Va-Jizz

Penetrative Sex: Fuck(ing)

Spanking: Ass slap

Fellatio: Going down. Sucking cock.

Cunnilingus: Use/using your mouth (The term “eating out” just doesn’t make sense to me.)

Anal Sex: Ass fuck(ing)

Masturbation: Wanking. Taking Care Of Business.

When it comes to sex words, do you have some preferred slang terms or do you like to straight up tell it like it is? Comments are open so don’t be shy. Speak up!

This was originally posted at Adorkable Undies, Nadine Thornhill's lovely blog.

Nadine is a sexual health educator, playwright, poet, burlesque performer, partner and parent living in Ottawa, Ontario. The plays and poetry she creates tend toward subjects such as clitorises, vibrators and non-monogamy. She enjoys candy, fashion and dreck television. She does not care for pants.

Find her on Twitter @NadineThornhill. She also blogs on Adorkable Undies. Find her on Facebook and Pinterest.

You have read this article anatomy / comedy / for couples / for men / for women / foreplay / funny / Nadine / penis / vagina with the title funny. You can bookmark this page URL https://jadejurgensen.blogspot.com/2012/09/my-favorite-things-sex-slang-for-giggles.html. Thanks!