3 Must Read Books on Cunnilingus

Just in time for New Years! It's the holidays, and you might still be thinking about gifts for that special person in your life. Well, books are a good way to show you care--and note how much you love making love with them. You want you both to have better sex, so maybe your partner would like to read an oral sex book together? On top of that, we had a great response for other 3 Books on Giving the Best Cunnilingus. GetLusty writer Stephanie Vanderwall brings you 3 of the best books on cunnilingus.

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When it comes to blowing a woman’s mind, these authors know what they’re talking about! So pick your favorite, study up, and try out some new tips and tricks on that lovely lady of yours.

#1 Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind: An Illustrated Guide to Giving Her Amazing Orgasms

By Shanna Katz

You can’t be a superstar sex partner until you’ve mastered the subtle art of cunnilingus. For starters, you need to get your timing down, learn what licks feel good and how to be sure your partner is truly enjoying your efforts. Luckily, Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind teaches all this and a whole lot more. Whether you’re just getting started or are practically an oral expert, this book has just what you need. It’s packed with tips and techniques to improve those tingling tongue moves and features tastefully erotic photos of positions perfect for oral pleasuring. Oral Sex That’ll Blow Her Mind is far more than a set of skills. It explains how cunnilingus helps you feel connected with your partner (whether you are the giver or the receiver) and how to enrich that experience.

“I really enjoyed this book. Not only was it interesting and informative, it had a really fun tone as well. The author was definitely enjoying herself when she wrote it. Or at least that’s the sense I get then I see a lot of fun alliteration. I appreciated that the book covered a lot of topics from the rank beginner to someone more experienced. I would highly recommend this book to anyone wanting to improve their oral sex technique.” –Amazon Customer

#2 The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus: How to Go Down on a Woman and Give Her Exquisite Pleasure 

By Violet Blue, forward by Margaret Cho

This 2011 Independent Publisher Awards silver medalist is truly the bible of oral sex. The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus gives excellent advice, encouragement, and helpful instruction to those who want to expand their expertise or are simply curious about the art’s finer points. In her clear, concise, and informative text, sex educator Violet Blue provides step-by-step instructions for going down on a woman, as well as accurate and up-to-date information on female anatomy and sexual response.

In her friendly, witty tone, Blue dispatches fascinating facts and discusses games for lovers, positions, safety, and a variety of techniques; she also offers erotic book and DVD recommendations, and tips for effective communication during the act itself. Featuring helpful illustrations and erotica by sexpert Alison Tyler, this is the essential guide to going down.

Sex advice blogger Susie Bright raves: “Violet Blue’s cunnilingus book is the best sheer technique manual I’ve ever read on going down.”

“I think this is a great book. My husband and I never experimented in this area for many reasons...mostly my own insecurity. This book opened my eyes in all directions. If you are looking for a book to help you in this area it is a good one. I have hunted all over and this is by far the best one! Have fun!” –Amazon Customer

#3 The Best Oral Sex Ever: His Guide to Going Down

By Yvonne K. Fulbright, Ph.D.

Eating out has never been so hot. Sexologist Yvonne K. Fulbright exposes the facts and fantastic tricks oral sex aficionados live by in her brazen how-to for men. This guide gives you the tools you need to thrill her every night, including: making cunnilingus the evening's main course or the first stop in a night of multiple orgasms, techniques from the sacred "Flutter of the Butterfly" to modern Oral Sex Acrobatics, how to overcome any woman's oral sex hang-ups, and how to broach the subject of wanting to give her oral sex—even when it makes her nervous.

Packed with the most erotic ideas for pleasuring her, this men's manual will send you running for the covers.

One satisfied Amazon reader says: “This is a fun book, and even better if you have someone to practice on :-) I haven't completely finished it, but so far it's been very informative; a nice balance between being too clinical on the one hand, and too lewd / crude on the other.”

“Great book for learning some finer points to this subject! I learned a lot of new things and my wife benefited! Did talk about some things I already knew yet some might not. 
I strongly recommend this manual because it does meet its purpose plus!” –Barnes & Noble Customer

Stephanie has long believed she is a gay man trapped in a woman's body. She is a lover of good food, good sex and good grammar. A recent transplant to Chicago, she spends her free time with her super-duper-fly boyfriend and their three "kids" (2 cats, 1 dog). She has a blog she writes in every so often. She's still trying to get the whole Twitter thing down, but you can follow her @Vanderfloozie. Want to get in touch with her? Email stephanie@getlusty.com.

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Problem Ejaculating? Dr. Dick Answers!

This is a guest post from Richard Wagner, Ph.D., ACS also known as Dr. Dick. GetLusty loves Dr. Dick! He has been a practitioner of Sex Therapy and Relationship Counseling for over 30 years. Today, he is here to answer a reader's question about why a man may not be ejaculating during sex, but can ejaculate while masturbating alone.

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Dear Dr. Dick,

We are a happy but frustrated couple looking for advice. I’m a 25 year old male, and my lovely girlfriend is 20.

"I have no problem bringing her to orgasm and pleasing her, but since we’ve been seeing each other I have not been able to cum once. In the past it was always difficult for me to cum during sex. My first time (age 18) my then girlfriend and I went for about three hours before we just gave up. Usually I would have to jerk myself off afterwards, but now I can’t even do that. However if I am alone with porn I am easily able to masturbate and can get off a few times a day. How is it that I can jerk off to pictures that mean nothing to me, but can’t cum for the woman I love the most?

I’ve spoken with a doctor and he said medically there is nothing wrong with my penis. What do you suggest we do? We are really getting frustrated and just want to be able to please each other.

Sincerely,
Dan & Rebecca

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Dear Dan & Rebecca,

Simply put, there’s a difference between the psycho-sexual response we have when we are alone and the one we experience with a partner. Your doctor is right, there’s probably nothing wrong with your unit. It’s all in your head, or your mind, to be more exact. And I’m not being flippant. If I had to guess, I’d say you have a real bad case of performance anxiety. Here’s how this nasty thing works.

Say I have a less than satisfying sexual experience for one reason or another. Before I know it, I’m replaying the incident over and over in my mind’s eye until that’s all I can think about. The proverbial molehill has become a mountain. I then bring my anxiety to my next encounter.

My hyper self-consciousness primes me for more disappointment. And I’m all prepared to interpret the disappointment as a failure.

Well, you can see where I’m going with this, huh? My fears become self-fulfilling and I find I’m beginning to avoid partnered sex and my relationship flounders, I develop a full-blown sexual dysfunction and my self-esteem takes a nosedive.

My preoccupation with my problem makes it less likely that I’ll be fully present during sex with my partner, which pretty much scuttles my sexual responsiveness and any hope for spontaneity. It looks to me like performance anxiety is putting a damper on your sexual arousal and short-circuiting your sexual response cycle. Get yourself to a sex-positive therapist ASAP! Believe me, this is nothing to fool around with, especially for someone at your tender age.

When I see this sort of thing in my private practice, I always begin the therapeutic intervention by calling a moratorium on fucking of any kind. This immediately takes a great deal of the pressure off the couple. From there we begin to rebuild the partnered psycho-sexual response one step at a time. We begin with sensate focus training, stress reduction and relaxation exercises. I have the greatest confidence in this method; it succeeds over 90% of the time.

Good luck,
Dr. Dick

This is a guest post from Richard Wagner, Ph.D., ACS - aka Dr Dick, sexologist, author, educator, syndicated sex advice columnist and publisher of Dr Dick's Sex Advice and Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews. He's been a practitioner of Sex Therapy and Relationship Counseling for over 30 years.

Richard Wagner (Dr. Dick) affirms the fundamental goodness of sexuality in human life, both as a personal need and as an interpersonal bond. He knows the unhappiness and anxiety, which sex-negative attitudes can engender in individuals, alienating them from their own body and the bodies of others.

Find Dr. Dick on Twitter @DrDickSexAdvice.

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6 Tips for Success: Vulva 101 (NSFW)

At GetLusty, we have to admit it; we love vagina. Vagina's come in all shapes, colors and sizes, so we aim to showcase all kinds of vagina's in our articles--not just the touched up one's. Now, last week we talked about loving the vagina—whether its your own or your partner’s.

In this article, we'd like to tell you a little bit about what makes a vagina happy and healthy and on great days, horny. GetLusty's Tia Shine reports.

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First off, grab a hand mirror. I’m not going to ask you to touch it—just take a look at it. Don’t worry—we’re doing this together. Now, don’t go looking for the vagina—you’re not going to see it. What you are going to see is the vulva. Most women do not know that what we actually can see with the naked eye is called the vulva. The vagina is the actual canal that leads from the opening to the cervix.

Notice your curves

First thing you should notice—there is a layer of fat where pubic hair grows. That’s called the mons pubis. It is there to protect the vaginal bone and heighten sexual arousal as part of the clitoral complex. It connects to the labia majora, the outer lips of the vagina, which are also used as boundaries to protect the vulva. Within the labia majora, we have the labia minora, which are strongly connected to clitoris. 

Find your clitoris

Like I mentioned in my previous article, Ode to the Vagina, seventy percent of women experience orgasms from the clitoris. Just a suggestion—learn to love your clitoris. With 8000 nerve endings, it is there solely for pleasure and can provide you with sexual euphoria, time and time again. Confused where all of this is? Look at this picture and remember—starting from the mons pubis, you have your urethra, the vaginal opening, and then the anus. This seems elementary, but “which lucky hole is it?” is a question many women ask themselves when putting in their first tampon.

More on the vagina

The vagina. It has a few functions—it is used for birthing, sexual pleasure, and the release of blood during menstruation. It can get longer and wider depending on the time of the month, the penis of the moment, or the birth of the year.

A word on the G-spot

Inside the vagina, there lives the oh-so popular, yet controversial part: the G-spot. The Gräfenberg spot was discovered in 1981 and is considered to give women longer and more intense orgasms than the clitoris. It is known to be two to three inches inside the vagina against the front wall. If you’re interested in finding it, go for it!

Slip one or two fingers and put pressure in the direction of your stomach and you should feel a small, bean-shaped organ. If you do not want to do it yourself, you can use a vibrator or even your partner. Go ahead—your vagina is ready when you are. With that said, below are a few ways to make sure your vagina is feeling good all year long.

Bonus! Tips for the success of your vulva & vagina

1) Notice your vaginal discharge. It is the mucus your vagina releases as a way to clean and protect the vagina from bacteria.

Every woman differs in the amount, but for the most part, it is a clear mucus that is released from the vagina during all moments of the day and can vary depending on the woman’s cycle. It also tends to increase during your sexy-time with your partner and even when you have a few dirty thoughts during work. It is an expression used by the vagina to let us know how horny and how healthy we actually are.

2) Get to know your smell. Every woman has a distinct smell that comes from between her legs. If it smells a little different or more potent than usual, think about the last time you showered. Also, remember that the vagina may smell differently when you are ovulating, menstruating, or sexually aroused. If uncertain, talk to your gynecologist.

3) Don't douche. You do not need to douche your vagina. It is unnecessary and could actually cause infections and unhealthy bacteria in the vagina. Just wash thoroughly while you’re in the shower and that should be enough.

4) When you are sexually aroused, do not be alarmed of your labia minora and majora appear swollen and/or red. You more than likely do not have an allergic reaction to your lube or are blushing with your lady parts—you’re just super turned on.

5) Some people say you should wear 100% cotton panties while you sleep, but I say let your vagina take a breather. It’s usually the only chance she gets to get some much-needed fresh air.

6) Treat her well. Wear silky underwear if that makes you feel sexy. Give her a little love in the morning when you wake up or before you go to sleep—or both. Surprise her with a midnight porn session.

From this article, you can tell the last thing the vagina is is easy—she’s intricate and purposeful. So keep her happy, healthy, and horny.

Thanks to the Beauty of Vagina's Tumblr for the gorgeous vagina pics! Love your vagina, ladies. There is NO wrong way to have a vagina!

Call her Tia. She's a recent graduate of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. During her college career, she was part of a volunteer group called the Sexual Health Peers where she bonded with like-minded, sex-positive people from various backgrounds and orientations. She has taught workshops on STDs, birth control, safe sex, and relationships. It was one of the highlights of her college career and allowed her to get involved in Planned Parenthood of Illinois in Action. She was a Campaign Organizer who stood for the reproductive rights of women in Illinois.

As a third-wave feminist, she currently works in the makeup industry promoting what she believes in: women should feel and be as beautiful as they want to without scrutiny. She believes in teaching factual and healthy outlooks on sex and relationships as a way to create a sex-positive culture where future generations can thrive.

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Interview! Camille Crimson on Blowjobs, Erotica & Motorcycles (NSFW)

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Gents! 5 Ways to Have Better Tasting Cum

Is your lover lucky enough to have a swallower? You don't mind cum or you actually love it? That's great. You're awesome. Our Bethany Kibblesmith is here to introduce you to having better tasting semen. Seriously.

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Men. You’ve wondered. You've worried. The girl that didn’t swallow or, worse, spat it out less-than-gracefully. How about the guy that only stayed down there for a few minutes before coming up with what we could swear was a peculiar look on his face? Was it us? Could be.

In this series--stating with the gents--we're going to address the taste of our sexual fluids. Is there anything that could improve the taste of them? In the first in a two-part series, I say yes. There's definitely a set of activities that you can do to give your semen an improved taste.

What is men's semen, anyway?

Men's semen is basically neutral, having a PH of 7. 96%, sperm is mostly water. It consists of protein, sugars, water, potassium, cholesterol and contains around 1-2% of actual sperm. 1-2%! To those of you ladies and gentlemen freaked out by sperm, remember how small a fraction and how harmless (in healthy men) it actually is!

What are the common complains?

In this article, we'll address the four common complains about semen. Overall, the major complaint about your semen is its taste. The big four include bitterness, pungency (including a offsetting smelliness), semen being “bleachy" or otherwise salty. Take it from your lover, if she tells you your taste has changed for the worse, try these recommendations.

There are a few things to do, a few things to eat and a few things to remember about biology in order to be assured of producing the most pleasant sexual fluids. How can a healthy man (with emphasis on healthy: if you have distinctly off-smelling spunk, it’s high time to visit your doctor) become a little sweeter? Let’s count the ways!

#1 Don't drink excessively

Lay off the booze (supposedly, chemically processed liquors are worse than the naturally fermented sort).

Lay off the cigarettes (by some accounts, the worst offender) and marijuana for that matter. The coffee (bitterness contributor), the fast food. In fact, all the popular vices can be conducive to, sometimes massively, off-tasting ejaculate.

#2 Avoid spicy foods like garlic 

Avoid heavily spiced meals 12-24 hours before fellatio. I know, I know, you can’t really plan for it, but for those blissful times you can, do. Ever eaten a bunch of garlic or curry and smelled it in your sweat the next day at the gym? That can happen to your cum. Try other spices like cardamom and cinnamon instead, as those can have a positive effect on taste.


#3 The Don'ts & Do's of Veggies

Certain veggies create unpleasant chemical reactions (due to sulfur content, etc.) effecting taste and smell. Don'ts. Run away from the cabbage family, onions and asparagus. Especially asparagus; the breaking down of methionine into methyl mercaptan is responsible for the universal reputation asparagus has as a befouler. Do's. Instead, opt for wheatgrass, celery and parsley, which have a high chlorophyll content and will make semen taste sweeter.

#4 Eat more fruit

While an overall healthy diet will contribute heartily to your overall deliciousness, upping your fruit consumption can create one of the best environments for semen sweetness. Certain folks would take an oath over the miracles of apples, mangoes, bananas, pineapple, papaya, and grapes. Be forewarned: it is mostly the sugar content (though, the vitamins help too) that makes them effective, so get further advice if you have issues with sugar. Acidic fruits like lemons and limes are also purportedly sound choices. Selenium and zinc are recognized sperm quality boosters.

It’s true: vegetarians taste better. Hands down, everyone says so. Or maybe vegans have the edge here? An overabundance of red meat, some fish, and dairy (due to bacterial putrefaction...yuck) may contribute to saltiness and pungency. Though some report that meat and fish, while certainly altering the flavor, can create a butteriness that is not wholly unpleasant.

#5 Drink more water

Drink water. Drink more water. Then, drink a bit more. Flushing your body of toxins is good for you, your skin and your cum! Don't drink more than 8 glasses of water a day, as you can drink too much water.

Alright, ladies. The second article in this series will be your turn! Until then, many of the tips above apply to you, but vaginas have a whole separate set of special circumstances. We’ll deal with your period, hormones, yeast and bacterial issues that drinking a boatload of pineapple juice simply won’t help (or, in fact, may exacerbate).

This is a post by Bethany Kibblesmith. She's passionate about keeping it sexy inside and outside the bedroom in her own relationship and in yours.

Bethany is twenty-two and an English major. When she isn't scrambling finish homework, she's with her boyfriend, reading, doing yoga or cooking. She enjoys the finer things in life like, secondhand clothes, warm showers, and socks without holes. She writes plays when she isn't writing for school of GetLusty. And if you meet her she will, without question, make a sex joke at some point. Email her at Editorial@GetLusty.com if you have any questions!  

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Cunnilingus 201: Up the Ante with G-Spot Orgasms (NSFW)

There's more to cunnilingus than just the clitoris. We've demystified the clitoris, we've even gone all academic with our favorite books on g-spot orgasms and even books on cunnilingus. We've all heard of the mystical G-spot, but what and where is it? Can it happen during cunnilingus? Simply put: yes. GetLusty staff writer Milan Weasley shares her expansive, sex positive wisdom and love of cunnilingus with you. It's especially for advanced learners. Beginner? Start with cunnilingus 101 as noted below.

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We always want to help encourage better cunnilingus. We started off with a cunnilingus 101 for the beginners, but now for a more advanced guide. While it focused on clitoral orgasms, it's time to add G-spot orgasms today! It's just as, if not more, important. The G-spot. Through extensive trials, Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg found that stimulating the clitoris was not the only way to reach female orgasm. Named after Dr. Gräfenberg the G-spot is known to be the key to multiple orgasms!

Without ado, below are 10 more ways to finding this wondrous, and elusive spot and aid in the cunnilingus experience.

#1 Elongate foreplay

Don't rush into it. It's much harder to find the g-spot before being excited. This is a perfect excuse for foreplay. The G-spot is made up of erectile tissue, so it enlarges up to 150% when stimulated. Making it much easier to locate and more sensitive to touch. An empty bladder is very necessary when searching for the elusive G-spot.

#2 Make her comfortable

As I mentioned you can't go straight for the G-spot. You have to build up the foreplay. Excite her; kiss her, things will be a lot easier if she's already comfortable and feeling beautiful and confident. This is the ideal moment to tell her how beautiful she is. Caress and kiss her entire body.

#3 Find the G-spot

Even if she has been stimulated and warmed up, the G-spot may still be hard to find. It's easiest to find with your fingers. Insert two fingers.

You want to go as deep as your second set of knuckles. A come hither gesture will get you in the general area. The G-spot does feel different than the surrounding tissue. It has a more rough texture, like the roof of your mouth right behind the front teeth.

#4 Technique 

Pressure is the best feeling, but like many things, this isn't true for everyone. Experiment. Slow, deep strokes and lighter, faster ones. Always make sure to spread your fingers a bit. In the middle is the urethra and pressure there won't feel nice. When you find a nice rhythm, keep it up.

#5 Don't forget the clitoris

G-spot stimulation doesn't work well on its own. Pairing it with clit stimulation is perfect. If you're using your fingers, you're already in a great spot to go face first. Clit and g-spot stimulation go hand-in-hand. When performing cunnilingus, inserting fingers takes it to the next level. If you know where the G-spot is, that can put it over the top. Clit stimulation is a great opener and will encourage lubrication, kick-starting her excitement.

#6 Toys

I've always been an advocate for using toys. And why not? It's #ToyWithMeTuesday! For example, check out the Nirvana from Early to Bed to the left. It's a vibrator and dildo. They can definitely improve your cunnilingus experience They especially helpful with finding the G-spot. Many toys are designed to do just that. It will make a nice addition while you are stimulating her clit with your tongue. It's much easier to hold a toy in one place while focusing elsewhere. A vibrating toy is also great for her clit. You'll definitely get her to climax, and maybe even ejaculate.

#7 Squirting

With proper buildup, multiple orgasms can be achieved. And even better than that, female ejaculation, or squirting is possible. Female ejaculation does come from the urethra but it's not urine. It will be clear and odorless. It also tastes sweeter than her natural lubrication.

#8 Come prepared

Female ejaculation can feel like the need to pee. The feeling can lead to some insecurity. And that will prevent a good orgasm. Don't worry. And tell her not to worry. If she had already used the bathroom, there won't be any embarrassing issues. This will help her relax and her muscles won't tense up. You want her to be comfortable enough to go with the feeling and flex her muscles. Have a towel nearby. You'll probably need it.

#9 Communicate

This cannot be stressed enough! When you've found the place, rhythm, or motion that she loves, do not stop. I've been guilty of this myself. Changing even a little bit can interrupt her climax. So no matter how hard it is, or how much that cramp hurts, keep going. You will both be grateful you didn't stop.

#10 Make note

Remembering where her G-spot is will not only help in the future with cunnilingus, but can improve sex in general. The G-spot can be reached with fingers, toys, penises, and even some long and talented tongues. Positions from behind, and the Cowgirl can lead to G-spot stimulation. With the Cowgirl position, she has more control and can better position things. During other forms of intercourse, remember to aim lower, and be prepared for a wild ride.

Speaking of the G-Spot, have you 'Liked' GetLusty on Facebook yet? We're giving away a Tiani 2 to a lucky 'Liker' by December 1st. We're also on Pinterest and Tumblr, as well as Twitter @getlusty. What?! You're on those platforms and aren't in tune with our awesome content? Have amazing sex. Get lusty. 




This is a guest post by GetLusty staff writer, Milan Weasley. She's pretty amazing. We're so excited to have Milan as one of our first lesbian writers. (Ah! Dykes and dildos!) She spends her days procrastinating grad school and her nights procrastinating everything else. She enjoys writing, gogo dancing, sewing, pole dancing, and defending the Oxford comma.

Questions, comments or article ideas? Get in touch with Milan at milan@getlusty.com or on her Tumblr.

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3 Books on Giving the Best Cunnilingus

Today, the GetLusty HQ is winding down Orgasm October, and I'm here to provide you with some fantastic resources that will keep the spirit of the month flowing for long after. I have three recommendations of great books about female cunnilingus for your partner or for yourself. If knowledge is power, think of these three books are cunnilingus power plants! Because our Cunnilingus 101 article was so well received, GetLusty's Brendan White is here to give you three wonderful resources on cunnilingus for your best oral sex ever!

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#1 She Comes First: the Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

William Morrow Paperbacks, 2010
Author: Ian Kerner

This book dispels the misconception that genital penetration is the primary way to bring a woman to climax. Kerner is a clinical sexology doctorate holder and his wit and candor is as entertaining as it is informative.

We at GetLusty love this particular book because Kerner focuses on several of the 5 Pillars we hold so dear, touching on health and communication in addition to sexual technique. The book's format is concise, logical and easy to chew. It's useful for any level of experience, be you a cunnilingus veteran or newbie; so don't be shy, and pick up this book today! Giving great pleasure feels good and fosters connection and appreciation between you and your lucky partner.


#2 Clit-ology: Master Every Move from A to G-spot to Give Her Ultimate Pleasure

Quiver, 2011
Authors: Jordan LaRousse, Samantha Sade

Clitology is a male-oriented book with a target audience of heterosexual men. Be assured, this is not a textbook! It's filled with large images and informative bits alike. It also includes information about how your partner's genitals will change with pregnancy and menopause.

This book leaves the shores of cunnilingus to venture into the sea of the G-spot and fingering and more. Written by founders of the top erotica site Oysters & Chocolate Jordan LaRousse and Samantha Sade, "Clit-ology" delivers helpful information and pictures in a rhetorically straightforward and friendly fashion. Check it out, it'll be work your time!

#3 The Clitoral Truth: The Secret World at Your Fingertips

Seven Stories Press, 2000
Author: Rebecca Chalker

Rebecca Chalker, a professor of Women's and Gender Studies at Pace University in New York City, presents us with a well known book on female sexuality, The Clitoral Truth. This book explores more than anatomy and sexual technique, diving into the importance of self-exploration and the history of the clitoris.
 
What this book lacks in pure utility, it makes up with its historiographical meandering of sex and the clitoris - a lacking element in the typical "become a cunnilingus commander in 3 easy steps" books that seem to saturate the market.
While it may not penetrate as deeply in terms of sexual technique, The Clitoral Truth is a wonderful reference for a more well-rounded understanding of the clitoris throughout history, how it works, and your relationship to it! Slightly stockier than the last book — ringing in at 256 pages — this book is a determined weekend project. When you finish, you'll likely know the most about the clitoris in your immediate and extended group of friends and, let's be honest, that fact alone should make The Clitoral Truth rise on your bucket list of books to read.

I'm on the younger side of the hill, but my sexual education growing up was an antiquated and very Roman Catholic one. This meant I had a lot of independent exploring and learning (and downright powerful embarrassment) to get out of the way when it came to sex. Reading about sex, talking about sex, learning about sex and sex in general seems to be a cultural taboo in our country, for a variety of reasons. Regardless, sex is a subject too many people know too little about.  I encourage you to be part of the solution, not part of the problem.  Pick up a book about sex today!

This article is by GetLusty's Brendan White. Brendan is a Boston University graduate with a passion for all things historical and also all things sex. A recent Boston transplant to Chicago, Brendan has a musical mind and at one point toured the country. When he's not thinking about conquering feudal Japan chances are he's playing loud rock n roll in some laboratory with other like-minded individuals. When he's not thinking about GetLusty he's spending time with his exceptionally lovely girlfriend.

What to get in touch with him? E-mail Brendan at brendan@getlusty.com.

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Is She Faking an Orgasm?

Have you ever faked an orgasm just to make your lover happy? Well, it's Orgasm October, so we hope not. What if your partner has faked it? Dr. Richard Wagner AKA Dr. Dick, is here to answer a great question about determining if you're seeing a fake orgasm. What's more important, when you move past these, you might want to also consider our other articles on orgasm! Stay tuned and keep reading.

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Name: Ulrich
Gender: Male
Age: 22

Dear Dr. Dick (by way of GetLusty)

How do I know my girlfriend isn’t faking it? She looks like she’s into it, but sometimes it looks like too much drama. I definitely can't tell from this point of view. How do I tell if her orgasm is real?

Signed,
Too much drama

Dear Too Much Drama,

Too much drama? I love it! I’m gonna assume that you’re talking about what appears to be her throws of pleasure — screaming, moaning and thrashing about, just like in the porno movies. I’m not sure I know why women fake it, men sure as hell don’t go out of their way put on a show if their heart and dick ain’t in it. But women often do and sometimes even us benighted men think something’s fishy so to speak.

Maybe the question you are asking, Ulrich, might stem from a concern you have about your own skill as a lover. I suppose the most obvious reason a woman fakes an orgasm is to massage the ego of the guy who is putting it in her. I suppose it’s the path of least resistance after all. It’s easier to fake it than be honest with her lover about his sexual prowess. Of course there’s always the possibility that the woman in question is pre-orgasmic — that she’s never had an orgasm so she may think that this is how it’s done. How sad is that?

You know how there’s little mystery about a dude’s pleasure — he gets it up, he gets it on and he gets it off — pretty cut and dried. And there’s often the evidence of his pleasure in the form of a pool of his own jizz. Although I hasten to add that an ejaculation is not the same thing as an orgasm, but it is rare to have an ejaculation that isn’t somewhat pleasurable.

A chick is very different, don’t you know? Her sexual organs and arousal are mostly internal. So unless she’s a squirter (a G-spot ejaculation that is) there’s only circumstantial evidence that she is being pleasured. I guess that’s why so many women make all that “drama.” It’s to compensate for not having anything as obvious as a hardon and a puddle of spooge. Of course the drama could also be a way of throwing us boys off the scent, so to speak.

However, there are things you can look for that may indicate your partner is enjoying herself. Knowing something about the female sexual response cycle will, no doubt, be very helpful here. If you don’t know your way around this phenomenon, I’d suggest that you have some remedial study to do.

Again, the male sexual response cycle is pretty obvious — he gets wood. For a woman the analogous response is she gets wet. If your lady has a wet pussy, you may be on the right track. Of course lots of women don’t lubricate all that much, so you might not want to rely on this evidence alone.

In this instance you might look for the secondary signs of arousal – these are pretty much the same in both women and men. Our pupils may dilate, our skin may flush, our nipples may erect, our breathing may increase to a pant, our heart rate will defiantly increase and our toes might curl. Not all of these will happen every time to every person, but you get the drift, right?

In terms of the big “O” men and women differ in many respects, but there are some commonalities. Both women and men can have “mini orgasms” as well as “major” screaming memes. Us men folk tend not to pay too much attention to the little tremors, because we know the big one is coming. Women, on the other hand, have less certainty that the big “O” will show up, so they tend to be more aware of the mini ones. Regardless of the gender, a good portion of an orgasm’s physiologic response is the same in all of us. Muscle contractions, specifically the PC (pubococcygeus muscle) in both women and men, and vaginal and uterine muscles in women, signal orgasm. Everything else— the writhing, the shuddering, the fluttering of the eyes and the moans of delight — is gravy.

If the chick you’re bumping has a wild orgasm every single time, I think she’s faking it. If she cums no matter what you’re doing to her, I think she’s faking it. If she sounds like a cheap porn flick, I think she’s faking it. If she’s still doing the “oh yeah baby, you’re the best…make momma scream,” long after you stopped doing whatever you were doing, I think she’s faking it. If she carrying on, yet looking over at the television or the clock, then I think she’s faking it. If there’s no afterglow after a big “O”, I’ll bet she faked it.

If you think you’re with a faker, you might just want to tell her that she doesn’t need to put on a show for you. On the contrary, you both would be better served with a little honesty. Ask her for some feedback; what’s working, what’s not. If you think the chick you’re with is gonna cum as fast as you, you don’t know your way around a pussy.

And here’s another thing you should know; most women don’t cum from having sex alone. So if you think you've got a magic wand in your pants, you are sadly mistaken. If you’re not using your hands and mouth as well as your willie; she’ll likely fake it.

And finally, if you can’t locate her clit to save your life, you can count on her faking it.

Good luck,
Dr. Dick

Originally posted at Dr. Dick's Sex Advice.

This is a guest post from Richard Wagner, Ph.D., ACS - aka Dr Dick, sexologist, author, educator, syndicated sex advice columnist and publisher of Dr Dick's Sex Advice and Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews. He's been a practitioner of Sex Therapy and Relationship Counseling for over 30 years.

Richard Wagner (Dr. Dick) affirms the fundamental goodness of sexuality in human life, both as a personal need and as an interpersonal bond. He knows the unhappiness and anxiety, which sex-negative attitudes can engender in individuals, alienating them from their own body and the bodies of others.

Find Dr. Dick on Twitter @DrDickSexAdvice.

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Tomorrow! Blowjob 101 at Early to Bed

Early to Bed is an awesome feminist sex toy store in Chicago. They recently celebrated their 10th anniversary! In addition to being an awesome, they also have workshops, oh my. This is one of it's most in-demand workshop yet; a class focused on blowjobs, male anatomy, and women's feelings about them.

After a brief lesson on pleasure points Early to Bed will move on to instructions for what makes a stellar handjob and then techniques to give a mind-blowing blowjob, all without gagging or getting a sore jaw!

You'll even learn how to put a condom on without using your hands! This is a fun class that takes sexual pleasure seriously. Come prepared with any questions you have about head, and leave a fellatio all-star. Great for any woman who wants to be more confident in her man-pleasuring skills.


Instructor: Rebecca Steinmetz has enthusiastically been a sex educator for Early to Bed since 2003. She has created and presented numerous workshops on everything from flirting to strap-on sex.

She has presented at venues including universities such as Columbia, University of Chicago and Northwestern, Lawrence College in New York, LGBTIQ organizations, activist collectives and non-profit agencies. She has an undergraduate degree in Gender Studies from DePaul University and an MSW from the University of Chicago. Her sex ed related work has been featured in The Chicago Tribune, The Chicago Reader, TimeOut Chicago and Eight-Forty-Eight on Chicago Public Radio.

When: Thursday, September 27th

Where: Early to Bed 5232 N Sheridan Rd Chicago, IL


Time: 8PM

Ticket price: Register online $20 per person, $35 if you register yourself and a friend, and $15 for low income attendees and students. Reservations are required. Purchase tickets here.

This workshop is for women-identified folks only.

Check out Early to Bed on the map below.

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Say What? 25 Nicknames for the Vagina (NSFW)

There's no denying it, here at GetLusty we love vaginas and vulvas and we aren't afraid to admit it! From the men and women in our lives, we've heard every nickname in the book. What science calls the vagina or vulva, we have compiled a list of affectionate (and maybe not-so) for vaginas that would put Merriam-Webster to shame. Everything from sweet to hysterical to down right naughty. Our Crimson Love tells us about all the nicknames for our most lovingly admired part of our bodies--our vaginas.

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What better way to end the week and start the weekend than with some comedy. Here is a list of the top nick names for your vagina.

#1 Pussy 

#2 Twat 

#3 Vajayjay 

#4 Pink Taco 

#5 Pink Clam

#6 Honey Pot

#7 Hooha

#8 The Cookie

#9 Pie 

#10 Snatch

#11 Sascrotch

#12 The Cave 

#13 Cooch/coochie 

#14 Cooter

#15 Flower 

#16 Bush

#17 Hot Box 

#18 Nookie 

#19. Tang/ Putang

#20 Poonani  

#21 Betty 

#22 Victoria's Secret 

#23 The Pink

#24 Pastrami Sandwich 

#25 Chamber of Secrets 

We hope this gave you a few laughs! After all they are good for the soul. Thanks again to the Beauty of Vagina's Tumblr blog for pictures.

This is a guest post by our very own Crimson Love.

Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson Love at amber@getlusty.com. 

   

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