10 Craziest American Sex Laws

America is a strange and fantastic place. We are afforded some of the greatest luxuries the world has to offer, and supposedly are allowed to say and do anything we want. Actually, no.

When it comes to sex laws, we are not anywhere close to the land of the free. In fact, The United States has more laws governing sex acts than all of Europe combined. Luckily, GetLusty's Andrew Ewald is here to demystify and tell you about the wacky things that you might not want to tell the police about.

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#1 Only Missionary
Place: Washington, D.C.

Who would've thought that having more than 'vanilla' sex would be considered illegal? In Washington, D.C., the only acceptable sexual position is the missionary position. No, I guess we should consider here for a moment. Does this law apply to politicians? Because they fuck people in the ass all the time.

#2 No rodeo sex
Place: Massachusetts

If you're a little kinky and want to get fresh at a rodeo in MA, we recommend against it. In Massachusetts rodeos, it's illegal to have sex with a rodeo clown in the presence of horses. It's not talking about bestiality (which is very uncool because it involves un-consensual sex so we're very against it), rather just having sex in front of the animals. Is this law meant to protect the clowns or the horses?

#4 Excessive police niceness about car sex
Place: Coeur D'Alene, Idaho

We never thought we'd add police niceness to the list but here it goes. In Coeur D'Alene, Idaho, it's safe to make love while in a parked car.  Police officers aren't allowed to walk up and knock on the window. If an officer is suspicious, he must drive up from behind, honk three times, and wait two minutes before getting out to investigate. With regard to most of the other laws that either make no sense or are offensive, this one is crazy because of it's sensibility and politeness.

#3 No habitual kissing with mustaches
Place: Indiana

Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans. So seriously, where di this law come from, anyway? Does Indiana have an out-of-control mustache problem? Some sort of kissing phobia? Do they film a lot of porn there? How do you qualify and register as a habitual kisser of humans? Are there mustache check points at random intersections?

#5 No tollbooth sex
Place: Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

It is illegal to have sex with a truck driver in a tollbooth. Don't laugh. Truck driver tollbooth sex (TDTS) causes massive traffic back-ups and costs the freight industry millions of dollars in lost revenue each year. Unless the TDTS problem is addressed head-on, we stand to lose a great deal more than just shipping revenue. This legislation aims to correct this deplorable threat to our economy.

#6 No wedding hunting
Place: Oblong, Illinois

It is punishable by law to have sex while hunting or fishing on your wedding day. I feel like the primary reason this activity is only illegal because of its difficulty level. Just imagine the skill required to handle two different types of tackle, several guns and a wedding dress! Very few people are such talented outdoorsmen and lovers.

#7 No corsets
Place: Merryville, Montana

Wearing a corset is illegal because, in the law's own words, "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the red-blooded American male."

It must be noted that in Norfolk, Virginia there is law in place enforcing the use of corsets for which there was even a civil-service job, reserved for men only, called a "corset inspector". The Merryville law seems like a step in a more progressive direction even though it seems aimed at protecting men's rights.

#8 No gun play during orgasms
Place: Connersville, Wisconsin

It is against the law for a man to shoot off a gun when his female partner has an orgasm. This is the sort of law that gives people ideas. Not everyone thinks about bringing a gun into bed and firing off a few victory rounds. But when you put it on paper like that, Connersville, it sounds pretty exciting.

#9 No oral sex
Place: Missouri

Missouri is supposed to be, "The welfare of the people shall be the supreme law". At least according to its state motto. Not so much says GetLusty. It is illegal to engage in oral sex in Missouri. Why? We're not sure as oral sex is one of our favorite ways to start of sex. But don't get caught doing this 'indecent' act otherwise you could be at risk of persecution.

#10 No dick costumes
Place: Nevada

It is illegal for any member of the legislature to conduct official business wearing a penis costume while the legislature is in session. We cannot have the general public thinking that politicians are giant, walking erections. That would give people the wrong idea about government.

Andrew Ewald is a GetLusty writer who spends most of his time reading, writing, cooking, and watching RuPaul's Drag Race with his girlfriend.

He graduated from Western Michigan University with a Bachelor's in in English. He might act like a square, but nothing is taboo with this character. Connect with him! E-mail him at andrew@getlusty.com.

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Voting is Sexy! Do It Today!

Dear GetLusty readers,

Are you an American? Many of our readers come from across the world. But this message is especially for Americans and ex-pats living abroad (cast your absentee ballot).

You matter in this election

Cast your ballot. Your vote matters, and your opinion matters. Whether you're voting based on women's reproductive rights, education, national insurance, climate change (enter Barack Obama and Hurricane Sandy), medicare and social security or a variety of other issues. This election couldn't be any closer this November 6, 2012.

We're going to carve out some time in our busy schedules because voting is a priviledge and a duty that we take seriously. You could be the difference between your candidate winning and another sorry soul. For us, and for many women across the United States, it's Barack Obama. But if you think Romney is best suited to your needs, vote! Check out the Funny or Die video prompting you to vote!



Be heard. Vote today!

With love,
Erica Grigg and Tim Watson
Chief Lust Officers

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Don't Forget, Register to Vote!

Who can believe election season rolled around once again?! We'll weigh the pro's and con's of each candidate and think critically about politics. For some, it's jobs. For others, it is Social Security, health care, taxes, reproductive rights, climate change or the good ol' "traditional values" (?).

What a lot of people are forgetting, particularly women, is that our health is also at risk. Our Crimson Love reports on why you should register to vote and vote in the upcoming 2012 election! Think about your vote, and remember those before you who may not have had the same opportunity.

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Educate yourself

I would first want to say this article is not about bashing one candidate or the other. I would simply like to remind people of a topic and remind people about it's importance.

This topic is really important to ladies and gents alike. I'm talking about our health, reproductive and most pressing issue facing me today. Currently, I am a college student, I go to school out-of-state full-time, live in student housing, work part-time and utilize public grants for school. I use Planned Parenthood for my healthcare for many reasons, mostly because of its' affordability and convenience. Visiting "real" doctors can get costly--really costly. Outrageously costly! I get my yearly exams there, pap smears, cervical exams, breast exams and shots.

This service is at risk of being taken away because conservatives don't like their abortion services. Planned Parenthood has been labeled as an abortion clinic as if that is all they do. However, as most people know they perform services beyond that to people like me. How would you feel as a woman in my situation (as a lot of young women are) knowing that your only means of healthcare was being taken away?

In addition to trying to take away Planned Parenthood, the Republican party would also like to ban abortions. I am pro-choice, even though that would not be my personal choice. Women need the option when things like rape happen. We have crossed a serious line when we start to think about taking away a woman's right over her own body.

Take for example, a 16-year old girl named Esperanza from the Dominican Republic. In the Dominican Republic, abortions are banned except in rare cases. Even in the girls' condition, abortion was denied until the last minute. As a result, Esperanza, who had cancer, had to delay her treatment because she was pregnant. If abortion weren't banned, she could have lived. The end result (a tragedy) was both she and her baby died.

If as Americans, we don't think about the importance of reproductive rights for women, we could find ourselves in similarly dangerous situation. On behalf of GetLusty for Couples, I want to encourage you to think about these essential issues. Find your voice and vote! If you have not yet registered to vote here is some information to help you!

With love from, GetLusty!

Crimson Love is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas or questions? Get in touch with Crimson at amber@getlusty.com.

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