2 Quick Things Not to Forget for Better Intimacy

There are so many ways we get out of touch with our partners. During this time of the year, we can sometimes forget how important it is to re-connect with our partners. In the midst of new year's resolutions, we might forget love. No, no says GetLusty! Thank goodness our friend Devi Ward, our friend and also a Tantra expert, is back with some quick pick-me-up's for couples.

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What’s the secret to ongoing intimacy, in and out of the bedroom? Most couples agree that they feel more emotionally, mentally, and physically connected with each other, after a good romp in the sack. But generally that yummy feeling of mutual connection begins to wane over time, overwhelmed by all the pressing details of home, work, kids, etc.

Feelings of disconnection can also lead to arguments and fights, which can make it more difficult for couples to find their way back to mutual sexual desire and passion for one another. So what’s the secret to couples maintaining a more intimate connection in and out of the bedroom? Below are two quick recommendations:

#1 Take time to breath

It is a well documented fact that when 2 or more people breath together at the same rate and the same pace, their heartbeats will literally synchronize. Wow! Just by harmonizing your breath, you harmonize your heartbeats, creating a powerful emotional and physical connection. Just imagine how you would relate to one another from this deeply connected, mutual experience. You may find yourselves being on the same “wavelength” mentally, emotionally, and physically, leading to more of that life-enriching sensual connection that so many couples crave.

So how do you have this experience on a regular basis? It’s easy:

First step is have the man (or more masculine of the 2 partners) sit in a comfortable upright position on a chair or the couch, with their back supported. Have the woman, or more feminine/smaller partner sit in their lap, face to face. Make eye contact and smile.

Next, place your left palm on your partners chest, and make a heart to heart connection Now – watch the rise and fall of your partners breathing pattern, and match it. Once you have the breathing pattern established, count 21 breaths silently together. Then proceed to alternate or circular breathing, followed by The Ocean Breath. Now watch how your connection transforms.

I invite you to practice this 3-4x’s a week for the next 6 weeks, and observe the radical transformation it makes in your feelings of love, connection, and passion over time.

#2 Express yourself

The number one killer of romance in my opinion? Unexpressed emotions between partners. Small, seemingly insignificant hurts, irritations, even unexpressed desires, can build over time, creating a subtle but perceptible wall of resentment between couples. Nothing deters the free-flowing joy of open-hearted connection more quickly than resentments built from unspoken truths. Find ways to communicate your feelings responsibly, and learn to effectively “process” your emotions as a couple.

I recommend using the compassionate communication platform of Non-Violent Communication, developed by Dr. Marshall Rosenberg.

Devi Ward is an International Authentic Tantra Educator & Sensual Empowerment Coach. Devi has been on a path of Erotic Awakening and Spiritual Embodiment since 1993, studying meditation, holistic healing arts, and alternative forms of erotic expression. Devi has been a Professional Sensual Movement Artist since 1992.

Devi is the Founder of Feminine Emergence and creator of Sacred Erotic Dance™; a Movement-Healing modality that uses The 5 Core Pelvic Movements™, Authentic Tantra™ & Sensual Dance, to produce physical, emotional and spiritual healing in our relationship to sexual and sensual self-expression.

Her first book “Shake Your Soul Song! A Woman’s Guide To Self-Empowerment Through The Art of Self-Pleasure” is out on Amazon now. Also find more about her online tantra tutorials. Follow Devi on Twitter @deviwardtantra and on Facebook.

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Gents! 4 Steps to Restoring Sexual Function

Intercourse can be an essential component to your sexual life. Have you ever lost your erection and felt totally out-of-control of your sexuality? No, no! At GetLusty, we've been there. We don't want to experience the same confusion and simply--sadness. Expert on erectile dysfunction (ED), Dr. Joel Block, offers advice on how to overcome ED and restore a healthy love life by using real examples. Don't let ED hold you back from an amazing sexual relationship.

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“Alice and I stopped having sex five years ago,” says Jeff, 52. “I had a few episodes of ED, once unable to get an erection, once losing it as soon as I got it. She assured me it didn’t matter, and, since our sex life had been going downhill for years, I believed her. I thought it didn’t matter that much to me either. We kept to our separate sides of the bed. Without telling her, I masturbated once or twice a week. I had another erection problem, and we decided to see a therapist together. Therapy was good for us. We forged a closer, more intimate connection to each other than we’d had since the early days when we were struggling and the kids were babies. Once we got closer, the ED thing didn’t happen again. My erections are pretty good, partly because we’ve opened up our lovemaking style.”

For Jeff, therapy was the ED remedy. Depending on the cause of ED, there are several ways of treating it but in any case, here are some first aid tips:

#1 If you lose your erection, let it go

"The first few times I lost an erection during intercourse, I grabbed my penis and desperately trying to get hard again," says James, 51. "It didn't happen. My wife commiserated with me. Sex was over. Then I tried something different. When I felt my erection going, I pulled out before she could notice or respond, and began performing cunnilingus on her. That has become my pattern now for handling the unexpected soft spots. Usually I get hard again. Even if I don't, I have satisfied her, which makes me feel good."

#2 Concentrate on pleasing your partner

James's approach, performing cunnilingus when his erection falters, is a good one. When a man forgets his own perceived "problem" and concentrates on giving his partner pleasure, he relieves his performance anxiety. And he creates a win–win situation. Maybe he will get his erection back, but even if he doesn't, he will feel good about himself as a lover.

#3 Use a partial erection to good advantage

Paul, 46, says: "When I feel my erection subsiding during intercourse, I pull out, take my penis in hand and get creative. Grasping my member firmly, I stimulate my wife's clitoris with the head, brushing it back and forth, often bringing her to orgasm this way. Sometimes I use the head of my penis to stroke her inner thighs or her nipples. Often, I get really hard this way. We both enjoy penis play."

Some men can also have intercourse with a partial erection by holding the base of the penis firmly as they thrust. You don't need a full erection to make love with your penis. Experiment with ways of stimulating your partner with the erection you have.

#4 Don't blame your partner

When experiencing hurt pride after an erectile failure, a man might lash out at his partner and accuse her of failing to arouse him sufficiently. Don't do that. Not only will you hurt her and invite a defensive assault but you'll only feel worse about yourself later. Once a couple has started a cycle of blaming, it's hard to break free and move to a place of acceptance and understanding. Let down the barriers and share your fears and concerns with her, without blaming her or yourself. Some men find it more difficult to talk about their erection problems than about their emotions. For them, a savvy and understanding woman can make the difference between a frustrating sexual future and a transition into another, less erection-based kind of lovemaking.

Joel D. Block, Ph.D., is an award-winning psychologist-excellence in couple therapy-practicing couple and sex therapy on Long Island, New York. Board Certified in Couple therapy by the American Board of Professional Psychology, Dr. Block is a senior psychologist on the staff of the North Shore-Long Island Jewish Medical Center and an Assistant Clinical Professor (Psychology/Psychiatry) at the Hofstra North Shore-LIJ Medical School.

For 20 years he was the training supervisor of the Sexuality Center at Long Island-Jewish Medical Center. Dr. Block is the author of over 20 books on Love and Sex, his specialty. Check out DrBlock.com for more information.

You have read this article better sex / confidence / erectile dysfunction / for couples / for men / foreplay / Joel Block / self care / self love with the title self care. You can bookmark this page URL https://jadejurgensen.blogspot.com/2012/11/gents-4-steps-to-restoring-sexual.html. Thanks!

5 Ways to Help You Love Your Naked Body

Naked November is all about shedding your clothes and emotional burdens. And since we really enjoyed Dove's Campaign for Real Beauty campaign, we chose their picture to highlight improved self-confidence naked. Confidence comes from within. In order to get naked we need to shed any fears, doubts, and negative thoughts. To fully get naked, we need to get emotionally undressed too. GetLusty promotes a healthy body-image and self-esteem because we are all beautiful. What some people call flaws, we like to call strengths because guess what? Perfection is overrated! Bonnie Gayle, sexual empowerment coach is here with five tips to help you reach body confidence and soon nakedness!

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Negative body image, the negative feelings you have about how you look, is a growing problem worldwide for both men and women. It affects at least 80-90 percent of women and 80 percent of men. When you have body image issues it can be difficult to feel comfortable naked, especially if you’re looking at yourself in the mirror or standing naked in daylight.

How many times have you looked in the mirror naked and your eyes went straight that body part you find flawed? Your eyes are drawn to the bulge in your tummy, the cellulite on your thighs, or the saggy butt you’ve always felt uncomfortable about. You tell yourself you’re going to go on a diet, start your workout, or get some surgery to change these things because you think that such a change is going to improve your life.

Unfortunately, the diets that don’t work, the working out you will probably do for a short time and eventually get tired of, and/or the surgery you may or may not end up doing are only quick fixes that will not change how you feel. The odds of failing a diet are 95 percent within a year and a half. Working out has to be a regular commitment, not something you do for a few weeks and then quit. Surgery is quite expensive, requires down-time, and although it will change your body, it doesn’t change your body image. Once you fix one body part surgically, you’ll most likely start obsessing on another. It’s a vicious cycle.

The good news is that there are some practices you can do to start learning to love and appreciate your body without a lot of expense or suffering. These five tips will help you feel comfortable being naked in no time!

#1 Write a love letter to your body

Your body is a miracle. It has so many moving parts that allow you to do so many amazing things. Make a list of all of the things you have the ability to do because of your body. At the end of the letter, thank your body for being the amazing vessel it is.

#2 Take a look at yourself in the mirror naked

Find your favorite body part and focus on it. Close your eyes and imagine a golden light emanating from that body part. As the light becomes stronger, it grows and soon covers your entire body. Feel the warmth of the light, and keep your eyes closed for a few minutes in the brightness. When you feel ready, open your eyes.

#3 Take a sensual bath in some beautiful essential oils

When was the last time you took a long, relaxing bath? Gently wash your body with the infused warm water. You will notice your skin feeling softer, hydrated and more radiant.

#4 Create Ambiance 

There are so many places and times to be naked. One great way to help love your body is treat it beautifully. Creating a sexy, loving ambiance is a great place to start! Light candles and create an ambiance so you feel more comfortable being naked. Start slow if you'd like. But creating an atmosphere where you love your body and yourself is beneficial for more than loving your naked body--it will do much to improve your self confidence, too!

#5 Solo dance party! 

It's Friday night and you seem to have 20 minutes to yourself. Why turn up some music, the heat and strip down? Dance naked in the candlelight to music that you love. Feel how sensual you are. Feel your goddess nature. Dancing naked improves your understanding of your own body.

Practicing these five tips can help you start to feel comfortable in your nakedness. Once you start loving and appreciating yourself and your body, your whole world will begin to open up in ways you never thought possible. Soon you will love being naked!

Bonnie Gayle, is a “body whisperer and sexual empowerment coach for women." Bonnie speaks publicly and facilitates the teaching of overcoming body image and self esteem issues to women so they can fully embrace sexual pleasure.

After co-creating Sex Butter, Yes Butter, and The Butter, products made from organic plant based oils which have been enhancing and healing women and couples, her true mission came alive: “Body Liberation”! Bonnie has successfully assisted, mentored, and taught thousands of women the importance of loving the body you are in, treating it kindly, and stepping into embracing true sexual pleasure. 'Like' her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter @sexbutterbabe.

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7 Simple Rules for Your Sexiest Sunday

Lazy Sundays are probably the best time of the week. Everyone across Facebook and Twitter is talking about their lazy Sundays (especially after all that Halloween partying). Sometimes we take time off to enjoy Sundays. When we do, we enjoy sexy activities to pamper ourselves. Because feeling sexy is just as important being sexy. Our Erica Grigg reports on the things that make her feel sexiest.

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As the Chief Lust Officer, I have big shoes to fill. Friends, family and readers ask, "What should I do to feel sexier?". What it comes down to: how do I feel better to have better sex? Alright, I'll share some of my simple, slightly silly secrets to feeling sexy.

#1 A long bath

I'm daydreaming of this right now. Soaking; the longer the better. The more bubbles the better. Get extra soapy, extra relaxed. And open a bottle of bubbly to top it off! It doesn't need to be expensive. Just taking this time is what it takes to feel sexier. Of course, this requires you to feel you deserve all this self love and attention. Why? You deserve it! Man or woman, bubble baths are not gendered.

Although I admit it's been a long one since I've drawn a bath, it's just one of the most relaxing activities. Speaking of which, I'm going to schedule a bath. Because scheduling sex is just as important as scheduling time for your self.

#2 A mud mask

There's no other choice but to laugh. You look crazy. You likely are some weird color. But putting a masque on your skin is an excellent way to exfoliate. Have you looked at how radiant your skin is after cleansing? Yes.

Though I wouldn't recommend doing this more than 2 times weekly. It'll dry out your skin. Especially in Chicago with winter coming, you want to apply moisturizer after.

#3 Laugh

OK, I just helped that one I think. Or at least I left you wondering, "Why the hell did you include a guy smoking a cigarette in a mud mask?!" Yes according to University of Maryland, laughing makes you feel great. Why? According to the Discovery Network, "There is a stress-induced chemical in the body called cortisol, which contributes to problems like heart disease, hypertension and obesity. When we laugh, we set off a chain reaction that reduces cortisol levels."

#3 Work out

It might've been 4 days or 4 weeks. Maybe even 4 months. Just because you aren't the habit of working out doesn't mean you can't run and jump outside. After hours of working on our rumps during the week, we can start thinking sitting is normal. And healthy. It's not!

Get off your ass. Run, jump and play! Alternatively, go to the adult center for running and jumping - the gym. The gym is the ideal place to get your stress out from a long week. Don't hesitate. Do it! You might be out of shape. You might feel silly. That's OK. You're beautiful. You're competent. And no one at the gym really cares about how you look.

Once you've completed your (small, medium, large) workout -- don't forget to stretch. Have you ever had the cramps of the world the day after visiting the gym? No. It's bad.

#4 Stretch

Next to going to the gym, stretching is awesome to stay limber. No time to visit the gym? Stretch. Touch your toes. There are even stretches before or after sex.

#5 Get naked in front of a mirror. Don't wince

This might be surprising, but your body is likely completely normal. You might be like me--a little pudgy by traditional standards. Maybe you're tall. Or short. Stocky or fit. Either way, getting comfortable in your own skin works wonders for your overall sexiness.

#6 Watch feminist porn (or just visit Lady Cheeky)

There are plenty of reasons to watch porn. We even have recommendations for feminist porn! We'll have more on 'traditional' versus 'feminist' porn. There are several differences. The most striking of which is feminist porn includes far more women producers and directors. From what I've seen, there's a lot more queer porn from the feminist perspective. Overall, for me, feminist porn is awesome and erotic.

#7 Feel like a master

I'm not actually talking about being a submissive here, surprising enough. Although, if that's your thing, we do have several recommendations for being a great submissive. When was the last time you feel like you did something really well? Do you remember that feeling of conquering the world? You could do anything. You were Queen Kong (or King Kong). No one could touch you. Go back there. That is (for me at least) a great source of sexiness.

This is post by Erica Grigg, our Founder and Chief Lust Officer. She's a writer, marketer, social entrepreneur and sex geek. She wants to end boring sex. If you don't see Erica riding around downtown, Chicago in her beach cruiser or at a diner with her adoring husband, you see her chatting up the tech community about the importance of sex and love in marriage. Follow Erica on Twitter @ericagrigg or subscribe via Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.

Want to connect about business partnership with a woman-run business that cares? E-mail me directly at erica@getlusty.com.

You have read this article advice / comedy / love / self care / self love with the title self care. You can bookmark this page URL https://jadejurgensen.blogspot.com/2012/11/7-simple-rules-for-your-sexiest-sunday.html. Thanks!

32 Affirmations From a Nudist (Why Be Nude--Now!)

It's Naked November, so we're all about getting down to our skivvies. We even have several fun nude date ideas. But why? What's so particularly great about being nude? And why in November? OK, we admit it's a bit too chilly for nudity. But that doesn't mean you can't look at yourself naked and feel good. Being naked is about having a positive body image, accepting yourself, and others as well--including all of their flaws. Our resident friend and nudist, Roy Michael Blakely, is here to explain his 32 affirmations for why you should be naked right now.

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Why I Love To Be Nude

For happiness! Naturism keeps, provides, allows, reveals, answers, fulfills, completes and confirms our return to a spiritual design of being human for the joy of loving and being loved beyond all secrecy, inhibition, doubt, and betrayal.

#1 Being Nude keeps me grounded, and protects me from the incremental assassination by a world seeking to rule my awareness with bigotry, sexism, and lust.

#2 Being Nude keeps me more alert - attuned to my surroundings and those around me in a stress-free state of mind.

#3 Being Nude keeps me vigilant in my faith for self-worth and values.

#4 Being Nude keeps me - ME. I belong to ME without self-doubt or pity, thus remaining free as ME to inspire the happiness & joy that gives you me, and me you, free of debt as my reward for being ME.

#5 Being Nude provides my perpetual invitation for new friendships seeking to honor this awareness with our mutual sharing and living.

#6 Being Nude provides the comfort essential for my spirituality.

#7 Being Nude provides the clarity of self-worth and honoring self-esteem with unbridled reflection.

#8 Being Nude provides freedom for others that welcomes their uninhibited selves, for the honor of sharing and living without pretenses.

#9 Being Nude allows me to uphold the honorable spiritual truth that the penis and vagina constitute the physical host for Gender Values, and that no shame, guilt, or fear should diminish our Sum by my attitude and actions.

#10 Being Nude allows me to feel closer to my Higher Power. Bearing no pretense for the design of me--as a spiritual being embodying the human experience.

#11 Being Nude allows me to be more easily recognized by those who embody my passions and honor.

#12 Being Nude allows me to better illuminate the women who can embrace my awareness of them, from the many in denial of that spiritual worth.

#13 Being Nude for a woman‘s honorable worth, reveals my faith in her as undiminished given a lack of pretense by her.

#14 Being Nude for a woman's reflection of her own self worth, reveals her self-esteem with me as undiminished without pretense by me.

#15 Being Nude for a woman‘s acceptance of me, reveals an affection from her that welcomes my worth without excuse.

#16 Being Nude for a woman‘s need of embracing who I am, reveals the affection I seek to share in the mutual worth of friendship, romance, and sexuality.

#17 Being Nude answers the best of what we are in spirit, to honor the most of who we are in the flesh. We can embrace our truth in one another - family, friendship, marriage, and faith, without the ignorance or arrogance of secrecy, inhibition, doubt, or betrayal diminishing that acceptance.

#18 Being Nude answers my greatest honor in being alive as a human being, for the faith and self- worth that constitutes the love with which I worship my Higher Power, in total acceptance.

#19 Being Nude answers the devotion I seek to share with others in family, friendship, marriage, and faith, in total acceptance.

#20 Being Nude answers the need for spiritually, emotionality, and sexuality.

#21 Being Nude fulfills my need for being me, as my quest to worship my Higher Power finds peace and joy in what I am by spiritual design.

#22 Being Nude fulfills my courage of being me, as my need for being nude is of my faith and not by doubt.

#23 Being Nude fulfills my purpose in being me, as shame, guilt, and fear bear no religion as my faith to seduce me.

#24 Being Nude fulfills my duty of being me against all the social assassinations of my spirit sought by religion and politics.

#25 Being Nude completes me with the face value of my self worth, by the naked truth of faith through gentle eyes. With nothing left to shed as a nudist who worships a Higher Power, as a celebration of our sum, answers with reflections of You by spiritual design, that hate cannot undress as a pretense.

#26 Being Nude completes my trust with others about Gender Values, by the gentle eyes I inherit as a nudist to embrace whom I can as a sum rather than for their parts. Greed cannot claim me with selfish want.

#27 Being Nude completes me upon the orgasm, by the gentle eyes I inherit as a nudist to honor sex with the dignity of my own esteem. Temptation cannot answer for me.

#28 Being Nude completes me upon my free agency, by the gentle eyes I inherit as a nudist to respect others as I respect myself, that clothing cannot determine for me.

#29 Being Nude confirms my dignity by my Higher Power's domain, as my spiritual will by realization over consensus, seeks to discover and not plagiarize my meaning with others by spiritual grace.

#30 Being Nude confirms my beauty by my Higher Power‘s domain, as my spiritual will by realization over consensus, seeks to extend, rather than patronize the worth of others by spiritual blessing.

#31 Being Nude confirms my love by My Higher Power‘s domain, as my spiritual will by realization over consensus, seeks to embrace, rather than question, the spiritual truth of others by spiritual will.

#32 Being Nude confirms my sexuality by my Higher Power‘s domain, as my spiritual will by realization over consensus, seeks to deliver, rather than cheat the value of joy in others by spiritual design.

Roy Michael Blakely is a nudist. He's also a divorced father of 5 grown sons & a daughter in Heaven. He is also a newly published author of "Gender Values: A Proposal for Marriage in a Bottle". Michael believes that as long as “normal” is used as a measure for right and wrong, insanity will rule us against growth-maturity-and love! Check out his blogs at Gentle Eyes and Gender Values. Follow Roy on Twitter @gendervalues.

You have read this article better sex / confidence / naked / naked november / nude / Roy Michael Blakely / self care / self esteem / self love with the title self care. You can bookmark this page URL https://jadejurgensen.blogspot.com/2012/11/32-affirmations-from-nudist-why-be-nude.html. Thanks!

Don't Forget Play: Have Fun Today!

Staying in love with yourself is just as important as loving your partner. That's why during this time of stress, loneliness and heartache during the aftermath of Hurricane Sandy, we're talking about the importance of play. Through play, we not only have fun, but we feel good about ourselves as well. Enjoying the life you're living in the body you were given. Monica Day is here to talk about the importance of having fun so you can live the best, happy life (which is an important part of having great sex, too).

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My kids just watched the old Tom Hanks movie, Big, over the weekend. The one where he wishes on a carnival fortune-telling machine to be “big” and wakes up in the body of a grown man the next morning.

I wandered through the living room during the scene where he has hot co-worker, Elizabeth Perkins, up to his loft and he’s trying to get her to jump on the trampoline. She’s rolling her eyes, asking for a glass of wine, until finally, he drags her onto it, puffy-skirted evening dress and all. Awkward at first, she makes a few tentative bounces and tries to get down. But he holds her hands, bounces with her, and makes it safe and fun for her to play again. And (big surprise) she also falls in love with him.

The irony of course is that she is a big whig in a toy company. But she had forgotten how to play. And while she had plenty of affairs with men in her company as a way to advance her career, this time her feelings were real. This boy-in-a-man’s-body opened her back up to the fun and innocence of playing. Along the way, the experience unleashed in her genuine passion, imagination and intimacy as well.

Hint: Anyone who is dating these days and trying to follow “The Rules” and “He’s Just Not That Into You” advice: I say ditch it and find someone you can play and be yourself with! Everything will fall into place from there.

I was re-introduced to the word “play” as an adult when I entered the realm of sensual living. I wasn’t even good at playing as a child…so playing as an adult was an even greater challenge, as I had no memory to draw from for the experience. Then, to connect “play” with intimacy, sensuality and sex...well, that was a pretty big leap.

To me, play was not serious enough. It made me feel small, silly and suggested that I was irresponsible. Growing up, it seemed like adults had all the freedom and fun, and kids just got in trouble. So I was determined to be “big” as well, as early as possible. But that big-ness soon became an abatross around my neck — something I couldn’t get rid of, even when I finally wanted to.

Today, I see just about everything as one form of play or another — play is freedom, innocence and openness. You can even work out issues and have arguments, all within the realm of play (just ask my kids, they do it all the time)! Play is a mindset: players like to keep the game going, rather than having winners and losers, and life is the biggest game going!

So if the idea of bouncing on a trampoline in your evening attire doesn’t appeal to you, it may be time you give it a try. Innocence, freedom, wonder and love might be right around the corner.

Cross-posted with permission from The Sensual Life.

Monica Day is the founder of The Sensual Life, and a writer, performer, workshop leader, and personal coach.

Her signature workshop, The Essensual Experience, uses creative expression to inspire more honesty and open communication about your desires – which is the precursor to living a life you love, getting the love you desire, and having the sex you’ve only dared imagine. You can follow her on Twitter @thesensuallife, on her Facebook Fan Page, The Sensual Life, and at her website.

You have read this article confidence / emotional / for couples / happiness / marriage / Monica Day / self care / self love / sexy with the title self care. You can bookmark this page URL https://jadejurgensen.blogspot.com/2012/11/don-forget-play-have-fun-today.html. Thanks!

4 Ways to Start Meditating for Better Sex

Meditation seems to be a huge trend right now in the celebrity world with Orlando Bloom and Gisele Bundchen claiming to meditate. But its more than a mere fad. Meditation, like yoga, is thousands of years old! Its healing properties such as reducing stress and bringing about more mental well-being should have everyone meditating! But lets face it: meditation can be scary and intimidating. But, what if I told you that mediation can actually help you reach orgasms? Would you start chanting and making the sound of "om" more? Our Lora Swarts reports on how to get started with meditation!

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According to researchers at Brown University in Rhode Island, women who are able to train their mind and thoughts during sex will experience more pleasure. The study followed 44 students: 30 of whom were women and half of whom had taken a 12 week meditation course. The participants were shown a slideshow of erotic images. When asked to describe their reaction as calm, anxious or aroused, the women who were mediating already registered more quickly as feeling aroused. Meditation allows us to feel more and not get caught up in our own thoughts. When we focus on "feeling" more then we may have a higher chance of orgasming quicker as opposed to letting ourselves get caught up in our heads.

Along with my yoga practice, I love to mediate. Even if its for 10 minutes a day, I always feel more serene, calm, and have more gratitude. Mediation can lead to self-love, body awareness and more attention span all of which can help you with reaching an orgasm! Although orgasms shouldn't be the end goal of sex (that is just too much pressure on a person), it sure is nice to know that meditation can help us reach them! We have already written on some yoga poses to help you have better sex, now its time for some delicious meditation to improve our sex lives!

#1 Quiet environment 

First things first. Be sure to find a comfortable and quiet spot in your home, office, gym, wherever! In order to really go inside you need space and lots of quiet. Do not rush the meditation process. Start with 10-15 minutes and gradually increase your meditation time. Sit up straight and stay comfortable by resting your bum on a folded blanket. Its difficult at first to sit still but just know that you will reap the benefits soon enough. Just like anything it takes time.

#2 Breathe

Just as in yoga, breath is important in meditation. Using breathing exercising helps you get into a more relaxed state. Focus your attention on your belly with every inhale and exhale (feel it expand and deflate as you breath). Try inhaling slowly to a count of three. Then hold your breath for a count of three at the top of your inhale. Exhale for three counts. Once you get used to this style of breathing, increase your counts and hold the breath longer. Using your breath helps keep you focused and more aware. During sex, your breath can help you feel more aware and present. When you are relaxed and your mind is settled you can more easily orgasm.


#3 Personal mantra 

If counting your breath isn't helping you relax and focus, try a mantra or a combo of both! A mantra is a sacred word or phrase that you can speak aloud or with the voice in your head. Also, try imagining a peaceful place in your mind. Focus on this calm place, and let your mind go there. Focusing on your breath, mantra or image will greatly help you in reaching your personal peace. Need help developing your mantra?  Get started with "Om" which is the classic and sacred sound of Hinduism.

#4 Clear your mind 

When your mind begins to wander, non-judgmentally push those thoughts aside without labeling them "good" or "bad" and come back to your breath count, mantra or image. Silencing your mind is the pinnacle of mediation. Meditation is a journey, so just take it all in! When thoughts do enter your mind, and they will, impartially observe them and gently push them away until silence returns.  Eventually you will be able to control your thoughts!

Meditation brings about concentration, knowledge of self, better health, and helps us stay in the present and worry less about the past and future. Think about it. During sex, if you can concentrate more, detach your mind from disruptive thoughts, and relax, orgasming is just around the corner! So start "oming" to start having that big "O"!

 Lora is our Editorial intern and resident health nut. When she is not writing, you can find her on her yoga mat, exploring Chicago via bicycle, or spending time with her wonderful boyfriend and Beagle puppy in their north side apartment. She has a habit of spending too much money on soy lattes and yoga clothes. Find her on Twitter at @HoneyNutLo or writing over at her own blog! Have any questions? Email her at Lora@GetLusty.com

You have read this article better sex / Education / health / lora swarts / Orgasm / Orgasm October / self care / self love / sexual health with the title self care. You can bookmark this page URL https://jadejurgensen.blogspot.com/2012/10/4-ways-to-start-meditating-for-better.html. Thanks!

Breast Cancer Awareness: 3 Tips for Prevention

It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month. That means men and women have the responsibility to think about breast cancer. How can we prevent it? This is our bodies; our lives. Our health is our livelihood. Without great health, it's impossible to think, feel and be sexy. So this is a public service announcement. Think about it. Prevent breast cancer. GetLusty's Tia reports.

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It’s October. For most people, red leaves, cute new sweaters, and Halloween come to mind. For some of us, our boobies become a priority. After all, it is Breast Cancer Awareness month. On average, one out of every eight women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime. Although breast cancer is the second leading cause of death amongst women, death rates have been declining since 1990. However, breast cancer will continue to exist as a burden on both men and women’s lives across the world. So in honor of those who have experienced breast cancer themselves or in their families, we’re going to talk about preventative care.

Below are three preventive tips in the fight against breast cancer:

#1 Know your medical history. 

Ask your mom and dad if they know of anyone in their family that had a type of cancer and specifically, breast cancer. Because there is no exact reference in diagnosing the cause of this particular type of disease, genetics, family history, and personal changes in the body all need to be examined.

#2 Know your tits. 

If you’re experiencing liquid coming out of your nipples and you’re not nursing or pregnant, contact your doctor. If your breasts get a little more lumpy or sore during your period, that could be normal.

During your period, your breasts could appear to feel more sensitive or even look bigger. All of these are normal, but they may not be normal for you depending on your age and time of month. My best advice is to always have a yearly breast examination after the age of 20. After the age of 35, depending on your medical history, your doctor may request you come every 6-8 months. Either way, listen to your healthcare provider. Their job is to help your body stay healthy.

#3 Touch yourself. Down there and up top! 

There are a couple of ways to do a breast self-exam. One way includes lifting your right arm and using your left hand as the examination tool. Use three fingers and start from the armpit. With or without hair, you should be able to feel any lumps by moving your fingers in a circular motion.

Don’t be alarmed if you feel texture underneath the skin—that’s normal. However, if you feel a pea-sized lump, I’d go ahead to the other side and see if the other side has it too. No body is the same and sometimes, the body produces fat cells and our lymph nodes can become swollen. Now, take those three fingers and that circular motion and go across the breast. Then, switch hands and do the other one. Because changes occur at different times of the month, practice doing it while you are on your period and while you aren’t and see if there are any changes. Simply being aware of your own body could save your life.

I know this article probably didn't make your nipples hard. I get it. It’s a touchy subject (literally). However, it’s important to not only know this stuff, but to practice it. Not only for women, but for the one percent of men who get breast cancer too. For the curious men out there reading this: get to know your woman’s breasts. In many cases, you’ll be the only one giving them the attention they deserve. For the woman, with her hand up her shirt reading this: the next time you see your mister, go ahead and slowly rub his chest. You might have to explain why, but trust me, it’s worth the explanation.

Call her Tia. She's a recent graduate of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. During her college career, she was part of a volunteer group called the Sexual Health Peers where she bonded with like-minded, sex-positive people from various backgrounds and orientations. She has taught workshops on STDs, birth control, safe sex, and relationships. It was one of the highlights of her college career and allowed her to get involved in Planned Parenthood of Illinois in Action. She was a Campaign Organizer who stood for the reproductive rights of women in Illinois.

As a third-wave feminist, she currently works in the makeup industry promoting what she believes in: women should feel and be as beautiful as they want to without scrutiny. She believes in teaching factual and healthy outlooks on sex and relationships as a way to create a sex-positive culture where future generations can thrive.

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