Tantra 101: 15 Minutes to Amazing Tantric Sex

Are you ready for some intense Tantric sex? So are we, but first thing's first. If you're going to start learning about Tantra, you'll need to know how to condition your mind. Tantric sex is about finding a oneness with your lover, and the universe. This isn't something you can just jump into. You must make your two souls one, and learn to communicate on a level beyond human language. Still game? Alright then! Janelle and Rob Alex show us a quick and easy exercise that will bring you one step closer to Tantric sex.

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Taking your sex life to a higher and deeper level simultaneously through Tantric practices begins outside of the sexual act. It really is about fully blending the masculine and feminine within you – your Shiva and Shakti as well as blending your soul with your lover’s. When you can come together and are no longer aware of where you end and your lover begins, then you can experience Mahamudra, or a total blending with the Universe as a whole. Yes, you will still be able to tell your physical bodies apart from one another, but the sensation of melding your soul with your lover’s soul and even on a Universal level in which you sense a blending with All is an orgasmic experience that is like no other. But how can you move toward this potential?

It doesn’t have to take vast amounts of sexual experience or a deep spiritual practice to open the doors to these new levels. Such things can be beneficial, but are not absolutely necessary. We are about to share with you a few things you can do that will take no more than 15 minutes – unless, of course, you choose to spend more time on them.

Before we share them, it is vitally important for you to understand that as you go into these exercises that you have no set goal in mind. Be open to accepting whatever experience you have as the one you are meant to have. It does not need to be like someone else’s. It is your experience. Just as no two of us are identical, no two of our experiences should be expected to be identical either. Furthermore, the experience you have on one occasion may be quite different from the experience you have at a different time or in a different place. Do not expect sex, orgasm, or spectacular fireworks. Just remain open to what comes through for you. Do not expect anything of your partner either. Place attention on your lover, but with no expectations. Open your heart and soul and just be.

Set time aside

The first step is to set 15 minutes aside for the two of you to focus on one another. Practice the following exercises/activites and willingly let your guard down. Remember to focus on yourself during this time, too.

Create a safe and sacred space

This can be as simple as dimming the lights, lighting candles or a fire in the fireplace. You may choose to play music softly in the background (music you both enjoy – with or without lyrics, sounds of nature, tribal beats, etc.). Lay a soft blanket on the floor or join one another in the center of your bed. Surround yourself only with things that support the two of you. Take down any pictures and put away any items that bother you in any way. Remove any clutter from the area.

Yab Yum

One partner will sit cross-legged while the other partner will sit facing him/her. The second partner will wrap his/her legs around the first partner’s waist. This yab yum position will place you face-to-face. If this is uncomfortable for you, adjust accordingly. Perhaps crossing your legs isn’t comfy or sitting on your lover that way doesn’t work for you. Change it. You can also sit in two chairs facing one another – close enough for your knees to touch or even close enough so that you place your feet in between your lover’s. If you can, wrap your arms around each other. Otherwise, hold hands. Place your foreheads together (the third eye kiss) and just breathe. Remain like this for 3-5 minutes. Simply hold this gentle, quiet space for each other. Notice your lover’s breathing. Notice your own. Pay attention to the way he/she feels as you are touching. Then notice how you feel physically and emotionally. If outside things pop into your head – work, kids, the dog – just acknowledge them and then return your focus to the moment.

Honoring through your kiss

You can remain in this position or you can shift. Again, this is about he two of you and your experience. Spend the next 3-5 minutes kissing your sweetheart. These kisses do not need to be hot and sexy. They can be gentle and sweet. They don’t have to be open-mouthed or even have to be on the lips, though know that the heart is literally connected to the tongue physically, as well as spiritually. Take turns kissing one another. Allow your kisses to reflect how you feel about him/her, how you want to treat him/her, and how you feel. Communicate through this affectionate display how you want to treat your relationship overall.

Communication via eye gaze and touch

While you are either in yab yum or simply facing each other, look into your partner’s eyes. We often get so busy that we forget to do this, and I am not even talking about forgetting or overlooking the deep long look, but we can easily just barely make eye contact at all. Looking into your lover’s eyes helps connect the two of you. Sometimes, especially if you haven’t done this for a while, gazing directly into his/her eyes for a couple of minutes can feel like a staring contest. If it makes you uncomfortable, just start out with what works for you. Gaze lovingly into your sweetie’s eyes until you feel the need to look elsewhere. Then shift your gaze, roaming your eyes over his/her body. Take notice of every inch – ears, cheeks, lips, nose, hair, shoulders, neck, etc.. You can also trail your fingers along as you move your gaze along the body. When you are ready, look into the eyes again, even if your partner is not looking into your eyes. Eventually, your gaze will draw his/hers back to you. Continue to move through this experience together for 3-5 minutes.

See how easy it can be to move into a different space with your lover? If you can dedicate to trying these activities a couple of times each week (or even just once a week to start), you will begin to notice a transformation in your relationship. This doesn’t have to be complicated, and remember to let your expectations go. Let it be what it is for the two of you.

We're so excited to get a couple writing for GetLusty! They're both adorable, smart and altogether wonderful!

Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc. are writers, counselors as well as Sacred and Sensual Teachers. They recently completed an eBook on "Sexy Challenges: Sacret and Sensual Experiences for Lovers" which is on sale at Amazon! Learn more about them on Sexy Challenges.

You have read this article sexual adventures / sexual communication / sexual experience / tantra with the title tantra. You can bookmark this page URL http://jadejurgensen.blogspot.com/2013/01/tantra-101-15-minutes-to-amazing.html. Thanks!

3 Ways to Use Sacred Sex for Healing

Let's face it, lusty readers, our country was founded by puritans. Even today, sexuality is looked at by most with a negative stigma. Many couples are burdened with boring sex because we believe sexuality is just plan bad. It doesn't have to be that way. As our friend Devi Ward has noted before, sexual shame can happen to everyone. Whether you've dealt with big or small stressers to your sexuality, sexual healing isn't just for Marvin Gaye. Sacred Sexuality Experts and Teachers Drs. Janelle and Rob Alex sheds some light on Sacred Sex, and it's healing potential.

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American culture has a fairly negative attitude around sex in general. There is also a great chasm between sex and spirituality. Many believe it is a dirty and sinful act. What is the expression – “sins of the flesh”? Therefore, we are often told not to have sex unless we are married and even then there are those who believe it should be done hurriedly just to get it over with or maybe only done with the goal being to procreate.

Sex is a time when we are most vulnerable – physically and emotionally. Yet, it is also a time that we can become most open spiritually. You can pierce the veil between the Earthly plane and the spiritual dimensions when you transform the physical act of sex into a sacred lovemaking experience. In fact, you can heal emotionally, sexually, energetically and physically.

Sadly, there are a vast number of men and women who have experienced sexual abuse in one form or another. These experiences include things such as childhood molestation, sexual harassment, sexual assault and rape. There can also be great consequences for individuals due to the negative attitude and/or the way sex is used to encourage potential consumers to purchase products from cars to shoes.

Is it really possible to move past the stigma that has been placed around sex and transform it into a sacred and healing experience for yourself and within your relationship? The short answer is yes. Below you will discover three ways to help you start the healing process by experiencing sacred sex.

Expectations

The first thing you need to do is to understand what sex and lovemaking means to you. What are your expectations? What are your wants? Your desires? What emotions do you have around the act of sex and lovemaking? Have you had any negative sexual experiences? Were they traumatic for you or someone close to you? Do you feel there is more to sex than you have experienced to this point? Do you initiate sex with your partner? Do you believe it is okay for you to experience pleasure? Do you think you deserve it? Is your partner’s pleasure your responsibility? Should you be satisfied with your sex life? Is it okay for you to want to experience new things and be adventuresome?

The cells in your body have consciousness and therefore, when you experience things those memories and that knowledge can get stuck within the body. These are called holding patterns. They are not necessarily stored in places you might expect. It is possible for these memories to be stored in your right calf, your left wrist, or simply wherever your body chooses to hold on to it. These holding patterns can block the natural and easy flow of energy within your body and they have an impact on your expectations.

Right now, as you are reading this, stop and become aware of your body. Do you feel tightness in your shoulders, nervousness in your stomach, or a cramp in your foot? How are you breathing? Is it different than normal? What you feel may be totally different from these suggestions – just make note. Do not judge yourself. Simply become aware. Truly becoming conscious of your body and how it feels and reacts is the first step to moving towards healing. Your body will offer you great insight if you are willing to pay attention and listen.

Now, take out a notebook and go back through the handful of questions mentioned above in regards to your expectations around sex. Allow yourself to write freely – no matter what comes to you write it down. As you are doing this take time to stop periodically and notice your body again. Are there changes? Write down how your body feels as you move through this exercise.

If you are in a relationship, it is vitally important to uncover what his/her expectations are as well. Do not pressure your partner, but it can be very helpful to you, both, if he/she is willing to join you on this healing journey. It is also important to consider what you believe your partner’s expectations are as well as what you believe your lover expects or wants from you.

*If you uncover things that you do not feel capable of handling, seek a counselor who specializes in sex therapy and/or transpersonal psychology.

Solo healing

Once you have a better understanding of your expectations you can begin to move forward with solo healing. Depending on your individual needs you may be ready to touch yourself sensually and explore your body with your hands. Yet, it is perfectly okay to not be ready for this. Either way, begin to pamper yourself and your body.

Eat healthy, exercise, get a fresh haircut (or an entire new hair makeover), wear clothes that make you look and feel good, etc. Anything you can do for yourself that makes you feel cared for, pampered, and loved is something you should do. You can even court yourself or date yourself. Take you to see a movie, eat a nice meal, visit the zoo or an art museum, or relax in a bubble bath with a good book. Get to know you again before you move into touching yourself in a sexual way.

When you feel ready, schedule some time when you will feel safe and secure without interruptions. Begin to explore your body with your hands. You may also stand or sit in front of the mirror as you allow your eyes to roam over you. This is a non-judgmental experience. As you look and feel your body, honor it, appreciate it, and thank it for working hard as a vehicle for your soul to use to move through the journey of life.

The more connected you are to your body and the more accepting you are of it the more likely you will be able to fully move into this sacred sexual healing.

Shared life force energy healing

Sex and lovemaking with your beloved partner are really a blending of your souls and an exchange of your life force energy. Transform physical sex into sacred sex with your beloved by agreeing to enter into a lovemaking session without having the goal be orgasm or climax. This removes any potential pressure and allows both of you to expand your conscious awareness of each other. It allows you to open your heart and your soul as you move towards the gateway to Divine access.

Take turns focusing on one another’s bodies. Become fully aware of your lover’s reactions and responses. What makes him/her uncomfortable? What brings him/her pleasure? Remember this does not need to be sexual pleasure, but instead physical pleasure that allows your sweetheart to relax into the moment and connect with the life force energy with his/her soul as well as with yours.

Adjusting your breathing can also offer you amazing opportunities to relax and connect with Spirit. See a previous post we shared on 7 Ways to Use Breathing to Improve Sex.

As you become more fully present and relax, your sexual energy, which is the life force energy we mentioned, will begin to flow more easily through your body. With the flow of this energy you may begin to help some of your holding patterns break free. This can help you release guilt, fear, shame and self-judgment.

Healing is not a snap of your fingers and it magically happens sort of thing. It takes time. Therefore, when you begin to gain awareness of your expectations be certain that you do not expect one or two sessions of sacred sex to suddenly heal your wounds. With awareness, understanding, appreciation, and love for yourself and your lover you can start the healing process via your spiritual lovemaking.

Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc. are writers, counselors as well as Sacred and Sensual Teachers. They recently completed an eBook called "Sexy Challenges: Sacred and Sensual Experiences for Lovers" which is on sale at Amazon! Learn more about them at Inward Oasis. Follow them on Twitter @sexychallenges and Facebook.

You have read this article couples / sacred sex / sexual education / sexual experience / tantra with the title tantra. You can bookmark this page URL http://jadejurgensen.blogspot.com/2012/12/3-ways-to-use-sacred-sex-for-healing.html. Thanks!

3 Must Read Books on Tantra

Tantric sex. You may have read about it, but have never explored it because you figured it was too complicated. Well, the time has come to get schooled! The practice of Tantra has been around for centuries and it’s here to stay. You don’t have to be a Yoga Guru or the lead singer of a rock group that was popular in the eighties (ahem, Sting) to master Tantric sex. We’ve picked out 3 amazing books that will help you fully explore the Tantric practice and bring you and your partner to new levels of sexual fulfillment. GetLusty's Stephanie Vanderwall is back to showcase our favorite books on Tantric sex.

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#1 The Heart of Tantric Sex: A Unique Guide to Love and Sexual Fulfillment

By: Diana Richardson

After many years of exploration, Diana Richardson found that the ancient practice of Tantra, with its unique, intelligent approach to sex, had the effect of enhancing intimacy and deepening love. Here she has adapted Tantra for modern Western lovers in a practical, sympathetic way. Tantric Sex can transform your experience into a more sensual, loving and fulfilling one.

Diana Richardson, born in Zululand, South Africa, completed her education with a degree in law. She was qualified as a teacher and practitioner of therapeutic massage techniques. Living in India as a disciple of the spiritual master Osho she began a life-changing inquiry into the union of sex and meditation. After years of personal exploration she presented a unique Tantric synthesis to the Osho Tantra School in India in 1993. Since then she has been teaching Tantra in different parts of the world with a direct practical approach that inspires couple in the art of loving.

One editorial review calls The Heart of Tantric Sex, “One of the most revolutionary books on sexuality ever written.”

“Awesome book, full of material that you can put to practicable use. I bought this book expecting a little useful information, but when I read it, I found it quite easy to read, understand and follow. After reading it the first time I wanted to read it again, but used highlighters to make specific marks on what I wanted to try, put to better use and perfect on. I've applied many of these techniques with my wife and found them to be extremely useful. I've recommended this book to a select few people who not only wanted to improve their sex life, but improve the relationship with their spouse, making a stronger bond between them. I've read this 4 times and will continue to talk to others to read this book.” –Amazon review

#2 Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century

By: Barbara Carrellas

If you think sexual and spiritual bliss can't be found in today's fast-paced world, you haven't experienced Urban Tantra. With a juicy mix of erotic how-to and pleasure-centered spiritual wisdom, acclaimed sex educator Barbara Carrellas radically updates the ancient practice of Tantra for modern sexual explorers desiring to push past their edge in search of the great cosmic orgasm.

With more than one hundred easy-to-follow techniques for expanded orgasmic states and solo and partner play (as well as more adventurous practices), this in-depth guide reveals the delicious worlds of ecstasy available to all, including: The Erotic Awakening Massage, Breath and Energy Orgasms, Twenty-Minute Tantra Evolutionary Self-loving, Sex and Healing, and Tantric BDSM. No matter what your gender, sexual preference, or erotic tastes, Urban Tantra will expand your notions about pleasure and open you up to new heights of intimacy and sexual fulfillment.

In the words of Tristan Taormino: "Barbara Carrellas, whose Urban Tantric sex workshops combine Eastern sex techniques with the postmodern methods of SM practitioners, is a trailblazer."

Out Magazine raves: "Sex educator Carrellas takes Tantra out of the exclusive domain of white New Age heterosexuals and makes a compelling-and hot, and damp-argument that Tantra is for all of us. Her frank how-to offers suggestions for incorporating Tantric principles into queer couplings, with a healthy respect for putting sex back at the center of our lives."

“This book was my first approach to Modern Tantra, and it is much, much more. Interesting, erudite, entertaining and full of very useful information I cannot recommend it strongly enough. Every woman I know needs to give this to her man, despite experience and complicated classic Tantra studies I took what I personally needed from it learned volumes.” –Amazon reader

#3 Tantra for Erotic Empowerment: The Key to Enriching Your Sexual Life

By: Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson, Foreword by Tristan Taormino

Authentic and engaging, this illustrated guide is unique in its holistic approach—showing how Tantric practice not only greatly enhances your sexual pleasure but also leads to richer and more satisfying experiences in every area of your life.

Relevant for anyone, regardless of relationship status or sexual orientation, Tantra for Erotic Empowerment features original techniques, self-exploration exercises, and provocative selections from classical and contemporary Hindu Tantric literature to help you discover the source of your own erotic power and transform your life. Tantra for Erotic Empowerment was named a National Best Books 2008 Award Winner in the Health: Sexuality category, and was an award-winning finalist in the Religion: Eastern Religions category.

Betty Dodson, PhD. Author of Sex for One says: "Mark and Patricia have written a book on Tantra that deals with my favorite kind of sex—with oneself. Let's face it; many committed couples will end up practicing sex with themselves. Even a professional masturbator like me learned a few new tricks that will further my own Erotic Empowerment."

"Tantra for Erotic Empowerment is a sublime and subversive treat. Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson show us how expanded awareness and respect for pleasure can free us from the restraints of religious, social, and political conformity. A totally liberating book!" 
Barbara Carrellas, author of Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century

Speaking of Tantric sex, have you 'Liked' GetLusty on Facebook yet? We're giving away a Tiani 2 to a lucky 'Liker' by December 1st. We're also on Pinterest and Tumblr, as well as Twitter @getlusty. What?! You're on those platforms and aren't in tune with our awesome content? Have amazing sex. Get lusty. 

Stephanie has long believed she is a gay man trapped in a woman's body. She is a lover of good food, good sex and good grammar. A recent transplant to Chicago, she spends her free time with her super-duper-fly boyfriend and their three "kids" (2 cats, 1 dog). She has a blog she writes in every so often. She's still trying to get the whole Twitter thing down, but you can follow her @Vanderfloozie. Want to get in touch with her? Email stephanie@getlusty.com.

You have read this article better sex / books / emotional / sexual technique / tantra / tantric sex with the title tantra. You can bookmark this page URL http://jadejurgensen.blogspot.com/2012/11/3-must-read-books-on-tantra.html. Thanks!

6 Things You May Not Know About Tantra

What comes to most of our minds when "Tantra" is mentioned is mind-blowing, never-ending orgasms. That is definitely one of the objectives for today's busy couple. (Think: breathing exercises that bring you closer in around an hour.) We sometimes forget that Tantra is also a religious and meditation ritual. Well, our favorite Sacred and Sensual Teachers are here to offer their extensive knowledgeable on Tantra. Drs. Janelle Alex and Rob Alex offer insight for those wanting deeper insight into this sacred practice.

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When you hear the word “Tantra” you very likely are going to think about learning different ways to enhance your sex life. Holy cow, if you practice Tantra with your lover, the two of you are going to have orgasms out of this world! Maybe, maybe not.

Yes, there are great breathing techniques, special positions, hand positions (mudras) and special ceremonies to enhance your sex life and your orgasms, but that is not what Tantra is all about. If you open your heart and your soul, you will find that Tantric practices are just one way to help you gain access to the Divine; a higher purpose. So, here are six things you very likely did not know about this ancient practice and its true functions.

#1 It's about better sex -- and much more!

The original goal of practicing the Tantric principals was to achieve spiritual growth and self-realization. The main purpose is transcendence and enlightenment. Hinduism and Buddhism teaches that attaining enlightenment is what will break samsara (the continual cycle of birth, death, rebirth – a constant wandering – a continual journey of searching). Therefore, Tantric practices, which include sexual practices, are a path to enlightenment – a path to break the perpetual cycle.

#2 It's a blend of masculine and feminine energy

We all have masculine and feminine energy within each of us no matter what our physical sex is. Therefore, blending the masculine and feminine within a physically intimate encounter does not necessarily have to be a heterosexual experience.

In Tantra, Shiva and Shakti represent the masculine and the feminine and the merging of the two within each of us individually as well within our loving relationships. This blending is an attempt to reach bliss and a connection to Self. Sexual activities are only one piece of this blending.

#3 The body is energy

The body is not simply a conduit for the flow of energy, but is actually energy itself. Down to your tiniest cell, your teensiest neuron, you are actually energy. Tantra has, what I consider, a metaphysical view in regards to energy and the body. The belief is that energy has consciousness and therefore, the body (all of the body) has consciousness as well. The body and the mind are not separate pieces, but are integrated aspects of the whole.

#4 Tantra integrates spirit and desire

The body is to be honored and adored. It is not, as some traditions teach, a sinful aspect of life and it is not a distraction from spiritual development. It actually offers a doorway, a portal, to access the Divine. Lovemaking is not the only way the body can open a portal, but it is one way. Tantra suggests that lovemaking truly is the playfulness and adjusted experience of bliss as a couple enjoy blending the masculine and the feminine. Your desires, your love, and your spiritual life should be integrated – not held with a great degree of separation.
 
#5 Tantric practitioners believe in deities

It is believed that during meditation and other tantric practices, including sexual activities, that the practitioners can feel deities near them. These particular Gods and Goddesses are still moving along their spiritual path as well. Even though they are not yet ascended masters (those who have achieved self-realization/become enlightened and are serving humanity) they are a gateway to the original creative source.

#6 Tantra creates a safe and sacred space

Creating a safe and sacred space, such as a sacred circle, and requesting friendship and protection from beings in the subtle dimension (similar to Earth, but more ethereal) is important within Tantric practices. There are unpleasant beings within that dimension and it is important to request only light beings surround you and to request their protection.

We're so excited to get a couple writing for GetLusty! They're both adorable, smart and altogether wonderful!

Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc. are writers, counselors as well as Sacred and Sensual Teachers. They recently completed an eBook on "Sexy Challenges: Sacret and Sensual Experiences for Lovers" which is on sale at Amazon! Learn more about them on Sexy Challenges.

You have read this article body issues / Communication / emotional / energy / erotic / for couples / fun / marriage / religious sex / sexual adventures / stronger relationship / tantra with the title tantra. You can bookmark this page URL http://jadejurgensen.blogspot.com/2012/11/6-things-you-may-not-know-about-tantra.html. Thanks!

7 Ways to Use Breathing to Improve Sex

Using breathing tactics isn't just for childbirth. Using different breathing techniques can heighten sexual awareness and improve your overall experience. Our resident sensual (and especially tantra) knowledgeable couple, Drs. Janelle and Rob, are back (they first talked about sensual sex). They're very passionate and well-versed in tantra, so we're especially glad to hear from them how couples can utilize their tips for better sex! Read on. 

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In the early stages of your relationship, you may very likely have experienced moments when at the touch of your partner your breath hitched, your heart sped up and the next thing you knew your breath caught up with your heart rate and came fast and heavy. Yet, have you considered just how important breath is to your intimate life with your lover?

Breath is not just about supplying your body with oxygen. It is far more than that. In fact, using your breath in different ways can enhance your sex life. You can heighten your experience, prolong orgasm, and even pierce the veil between the physical and spiritual dimensions. Keep reading to uncover 7 different ways to magnify and expand upon your lovemaking.

#1 Breathe on your lover

This may be the most obvious way to enhance your intimate play. Use your breath to breathe on your sweetie’s skin. Blow sweet caresses on his/her neck, chest, stomach, palms, inside of the wrists, and ears. Of course, it is also very potent to gently blow warm breaths onto his/her genitals. Don’t overlook placing your lips against the clothing and blowing warm puffs of breath through his/her clothing. This can be very exciting and those clothes may come flying off.

#2 Fan the flame

When you are trying to start a fire what often happens? You need to fan the spark and turn it into a roaring fire. Right? That spark needs oxygen to turn into a hot flame. As you are flirting with and playing with and loving on your partner visualize this. Imagine leaning towards that little spark and gently blowing until it turns into a raging inferno. In fact, you can do this visualization prior to touching your lover or prior to even being in the same location as he/she. Imagination is very powerful and with practice it can light your flame.

#3 Set the rhythm

Your breathing can control your heart rate and ultimately control the pace of your lovemaking. When you slow down your breathing you can slow down your experience. Yet, beware that slowing down your breathing too much can also cause you to lose your sexual desire. So, only slow down your breathing enough to prolong your lovemaking. Taking deep, slow breaths will allow more blood to flow into the genitals and this will enable the penis to swell more as well as the clitoris. This increase in blood flow will help you experience more sensation in the genitals.

#4 Orgasmic breath 

Think about it a minute. At the point of orgasm, you probably hold your breath. Most people do. What if you tried to breathe during your orgasm and at climax? This takes practice, but one suggestion is to release your breath with a vocal “oooohhh”. Another sound you can practice releasing at that point is “ooooommmm”. The “om” is more of a vibration than a word. This can vibrate throughout your entire body and your partner’s. Is there really a need for explanation of the impact of a vibration radiating throughout your bodies during orgasm? ;-)

#5 Deepen your bond with tandem breath

Breathing together in tandem can deepen your bond as well as get you in harmony with one another. Sitting facing one another get close enough so that your knees are touching.

You may also sit in the yab yum position (one partner sits cross-legged while the other partner sits facing him/her on his/her lap and wraps his/her legs around the bottom partner). Become aware of your breath. Then focus on inhaling and exhaling at the same time as your lover. You can do this fully clothed and out of bed or to heighten the experience you can sit in yab yum naked and in bed.

#6 Channel energy

Breathing moves energy through your body. As you become aware of your breathing you will become aware of your entire body and the sensations that flow from head to toe and back again. Breathe in deeply pulling energy into your root chakra (located at the base of your spine between the coccyx and pelvic bone) from the Earth. Hold that new energy there and focus on the spinning of that chakra. After a few breaths, move this energy up to the sacral chakra (located just below the navel) as you inhale. Again, focus on spinning that chakra with this increased energy. As you come together with your lover envision your root and sacral chakras blending your energies. This is the beginning of heightening the sexual energetic flow in your body.

#7 Use breath for visualization

Instead of thinking of breathing as taking in oxygen imagine you are breathing in your partner’s love for you and exhaling your love for him/her. Breath or “prana” in Sanskrit is considered to be the life force and is concentrated along the seven main chakras. So, visualize your partner’s breath as life giving love for you and your breath as life giving love for him/her. Become aware of the two of you sharing, blending and exchanging breath integrating your minds, your bodies and your souls.

We're so excited to get a couple writing for GetLusty! They're both adorable, smart and altogether wonderful!

Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc. are writers, counselors as well as Sacred and Sensual Teachers. They recently completed an eBook on "Sexy Challenges: Sacred and Sensual Experiences for Lovers" which is on sale at Amazon! Learn more about them on Inward Oasis.

You have read this article better sex / Communication / Education / erotic / foreplay / fun / intimacy / Orgasm / sensual / tantra with the title tantra. You can bookmark this page URL http://jadejurgensen.blogspot.com/2012/11/7-ways-to-use-breathing-to-improve-sex.html. Thanks!

Interview! Ben Belenus on "The Sex God", Sex & Spirituality

We met up with Ben Belenus on Facebook. He was nice, friendly and just finished a book called, "The Sex God". Well, we haven't talked about God in a long time. Goodness, since our podcast with Melissa Jones, a Christian sexologist. So what better time to talk about spirituality and sex together? Why can't spirituality and sex be intertwined? At least occasionally? Tantric sex is an awesome form of making love that we hope to delve into more in a series on tantra. Without adieu, our interview below.

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* For you, why is sexuality & spirituality linked?

They are inseparable. Sex brought us all here. Birth and death are all a part of the sexual cycle of life. Sex is spirit. Let's celebrate it! I just finished some 500 hours of tantra meditations with my beloved. Those meditations have granted me direct experience of the spiritual possibilities that sacred sex can bring us. Very beautiful, very life affirming and utterly recommended. 

* How did you get into educating others about sex? (Would you call yourself a sex educator)? 

By accident really. I woke up one morning a few years back with a burning urge to write. I had never written anything before. I opened up my laptop and the words just flooded through. Apparently I was to write a book about sex! I got naked and tenderly revealed the most secret dimensions of male sexual thought and action. I am not sure many men write so honestly about sex. This process continued for another six months. My book ‘the sex god – No Mud No Lotus’ was birthed or channeled in this way. It was an effortless and enjoyable process. Honesty is an alluring phenomenon. Honesty is erotic. Authenticity is erotic. Now the book is published... I am suddenly educating others about sex!

* What is 'The Sex God'? 

If the sex god were me then my book would be called “The Sex God”, but it isn’t me. I am not a Sex God, but I do have within me a force of nature that behaves like a god. It is known as ‘the sex god’.

My sex god, is particularly omnipotent and it uses me to its own end. This unusual god is a motivational force that cannot be exiled. It’s an irresistible urge for union with my opposite energy polarity. It’s also a wonky force fuelled by nature itself, by karmic entanglements from the past or by wounded psychosis and addictive urgency.

Sometimes the surging agenda of the sex god cannot be overcome. It causes dense identification with its need. Its agendas are many and varied including giving, addiction, healing, guiding my life and most importantly taking me home to wholeness; the sex god wishes to give to a woman so deeply that the hearth-flower of her soul is opened so she can take me home.

In some men the sex god can be wreckless, causing them to go cause all kinds of harm to others. But it doesn’t need to be that way. The teachings of tantra can show us the way.

* How do you measure success as a sex educator? 

A good sex educator will show you that there is soooo much more to sex than orgasm, and that the best sexual experiences you will ever know can be had when you leave your ego and all its weenyness or superiority at the door.

* Who inspires you in the world of sex therapy & education?

Mahasatvaa Sarita, Margot Anand, David Deida, the man that is Ben.

* What's your favorite book about sex or sexuality?

Divine sexuality, Mahasatva Sarita. The way of the superior man, Deida.

* What are you looking forward to over the next year?

Over this next year I am looking forwards to spending more time in sexual samsara, spending more time with my daughters, and spending more time in exotic locations with my beloved. Professionally, I'm looking forward to another year of flow, wealth and being looked after by the universe. My next book which explores the realm of conscious relationship is coming along nicely, so it will be fab if that is published next year too.

More about Ben Benelus

Ben Belenus is a truth seeker, worshipper of women, practitioner of conscious relationship, mystic and Author. His juicy new book “The Sex God: No Mud, No Lotus” is a thorough and sacred investigation into sex, love and authenticity. It’s a sexually explicit and passionate love story that follows one man’s evolution towards spiritual freedom. The story follows Ben from innocence into sexual cockiness, painful infidelities, porn addiction and then onwards into deepest Tantric Love. Ben’s next book which is a deep exploration of conscious loving relationship will be published in 2013. 'Like' Ben Benelus on Facebook and buy your copy of, "The Sex God: No Mud, No Lotus" on Amazon.

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Devi Ward on Tantra & Women's Sexual Healing

At GetLusty, we realize we don't talk about tantra much. But that certainly isn't because we don't love tantra. We just need to find people to help us do it better! Devi Ward is the perfect example of why we should all utilize tantric sex and meditation. Especially if you feel you need sexual healing, or you've experienced sexual difficulty, this is for you!

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What we chatted about

• How Devi used tantra for her own sexual healing
• Where is the root of sexual trauma (hint: many sexual trauma's happen everyday, so you've likely had to experience it)
• Real-life ways you can do to jump over the hurdles of your sexual traumas (without drugs)
• Some of the many benefits for trying Tantra
• What you can expect from her upcoming book on self pleasure for ladies
• What success means to Devi (namely, feeling sexual abundance)

About Devi

Devi Ward is an International Authentic Tantra Educator & Sensual Empowerment Coach. Devi has been on a path of Erotic Awakening and Spiritual Embodiment since 1993, studying meditation, holistic healing arts, and alternative forms of erotic expression. Devi has been a Professional Sensual Movement Artist since 1992.

Devi is the Founder of Feminine Emergence and creator of Sacred Erotic Dance™ ; a Movement-Healing modality that uses The 5 Core Pelvic Movements™, Authentic Tantra™ & Sensual Dance, to produce physical, emotional and spiritual healing in our relationship to sexual and sensual self-expression.

Her first book “Shake Your Soul Song! A Woman’s Guide To Self-Empowerment Through The Art of Self-Pleasure” is scheduled for release in October 2012. Follow Devi on Twitter @deviwardtantra and on Facebook.

You have read this article interview / romance / tantra / women with the title tantra. You can bookmark this page URL http://jadejurgensen.blogspot.com/2012/09/devi-ward-on-tantra-women-sexual-healing.html. Thanks!