Life is full of distractions and things that stress you and your partner out. That stress can have a major affect on your sex drive and how you perform in bed. Crimson Love reveals 3 libido killers, and their remedies.
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At GetLusty, we're always dreaming up ways to help. Below are a list of stressors and how we deal with them to feel and embody sexiness everyday. Feeling and being empowered takes work, but we've got the recommendations and inspiration to help.
Stresser #1
Work
It's hard not to take your work home with you. Many of us have felt the stress of work leak into other parts of our lives. It affects us mentally and physically and most definitely can affect your performance in bed. For men and women alike, your head just isn't connecting with your body or the moment. Sometimes you can't get in the mood at all.
Remedy
Work stress can be some of the hardest stress. What's been helpful for me is vigorous exercise One of which is sex.However, alternatives here include taking a speedy walk or run together or play some sport together (think tennis, soccer or even football if that's your bag).
After your done getting sweaty together, take a nice relaxing shower together. Releasing some of the stress together will help you bond, relax and put you in a better state of mind to get intimate and lusty. My partner even dries me off with a towel occasionally, which makes me feel loved and appreciated. This puts me more at ease. Thanks to Engaged Marriage for the picture.
Stresser #2
Friends and family
We all have family problems. Sometimes, problems are more acute when they have more time and energy dedicated to them (such as living with a family member). Everyone has crazy family members and someone's mom (yours or otherwise) is always being a pain in your ass. Getting distracted by an argument, something hurtful that someone said or getting so angry that it puts you in an anti-sex mood is not uncommon.
RemedyFor sour times with friends and family, talk it out with your lover. Let them listen and help you dispel some of the toxicity that you have in your life. What's important is that they actively listen, like what's been included in marriage books like, "The Five Love Languages."
Learning how to actively listen is an important part of relationship bliss. Saying something like, "Oh, that sounds tough." Alternatively, "Goodness. That sounds like it's a lot of work. I'm sorry." This helps your partner find solice in you and feel like you're on their side. Thanks to smartinsights.com for the picture.
Let them give you suggestions and after the talk is over, let it go. Do a fun activity together. Most importantly, get your mind off of it. You will be feeling better and get your sexual longing back in no time. Still not feeling sexy? Not to worry. Let it go, connect with each other emotionally. Having a great sex life doesn't mean it has to happen everyday.
Stresser #3
Financial issues
The recession has hit millions across the country and beyond. Money is tight and bills are bountiful. Most people are having a hard time financially. You may also have to cut back and make financial sacrifices. It's stressful for everyone and thinking about your finances would put a damper on both your mood and/or libido.
Remedy
This will help you relieve the stress you've built up and put you in a more relaxed and lusty mood. Even if you don't feel lusty afterwards, again, don't worry. Just relax and enjoy your time together.
After several hours, talk through your problems again and then forget about them. Forget about your problems helps keep your positive outlook on life and maintains your high quality of life. Not ignoring--forgetting. Realize your issue, review it and forget it.
Do you have other questions or problems in need of an answer by a world renowned sex educator and/or therapist from the GetLusty team? Please feel free to get in touch with rachael@getlusty.com or amber@getlusty.com.
This is a guest post by our very own Crimson Love. Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone! Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson at amber@getlusty.com. You have read this article advice /
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